In true horror-franchise fashion, the SA article "The Absolute Worst Freddy Krueger Nightmares" has spawned an unauthorized sequel that involves no input from original creator Zack Parsons! Forums poster Drad_Bert takes the helm this time, with Vastarien handling the Photoshops.
A granny dials up into her internet. Freddy's face pops up on the screen. "You've got hell" She bursts into flames and is replaced by a stuntman covered in goo
Some kids are smoking weed in an alley when Freddy walks up dressed like a gang member. "Wanna get blunted?" he laughs before rounding off their limbs
A man is doing poorly on a multiple choice test on paper and his pencil lead breaks. He gets up from his desk and goes to sharpen his pencil. The pencil sharpener turns into freddy's head and the arm turns into freddy's hand. "Not so sharp are ya?" freddy asks as he pulls the man into the sharpener, grinding him into a pulp.
A Chinese hacker is infiltrating the FBI database when he stumbles on the elm street files. Suddenly Freddy appears behind him. "The east is red!!" he cackles before stabbing the kid and drowning him in the Yalu river
A guy is having a good time reading chuck norris jokes on the internet when he realizes the address bar actually read "freddykruegerfacts.com" Chuck Norris appears on the screen wearing Freddys sweater and fedora. "Good thing I never sleep!" he laughs before roundhouse kicking the guys head off through the computer
Star Wars fan speculation has been swirling about the source of female ejaculation. The answers might finally be coming with the Last Jedi.
Lean in close to your screen. Inhale deeply. Does this guide give off a cloyingly sour odor? Then it is likely the genuine article.
The Comedy Goldmine examines the funniest and most creative threads from the Something Awful Forums. Although the Comedy Goldmine has changed authors many times over the years, its focus on the Something Awful Forums is still the same. Includes hilarious Photoshops, amusing work stories, parodies, and other types of oddball humor.