That does it for part one of this look at the sexy world of online dating via games provided by multinational corporations. Regular Goldmine readers can look forward to us revisiting the same territory another time in the near future, as there's certainly a whole lot more horny teenagers to confuse and bamboozle. Thanks to all the SA forum goons for helping out with the screencaps for this article, I love you all in a way that couldn't possibly be published on a family site such as Something Awful. Join me again next Tuesday when I'll have another arousing article to tickle your fancy.
Want to take part in our much-publicized trade in program to swap an old tablet or video game for in-store credit? Great! We just need your license, home phone number, email address, work number, and your fingerprints. We might even take a mugshot of you.
Are you ready to be consistently depressed by how you're throwing your money and life away? Check out Loot Crate's 2015 lineup of upcoming crates!
The Comedy Goldmine examines the funniest and most creative threads from the Something Awful Forums. Although the Comedy Goldmine has changed authors many times over the years, its focus on the Something Awful Forums is still the same. Includes hilarious Photoshops, amusing work stories, parodies, and other types of oddball humor.