What's for dinner at The Fuzzy Hulk's house? That's right, cat again!

I'm sick of people illegally downloading this fish flies' contributions to these articles and burning them onto CD. Don't you realize that you are taking food off of this talented artist's table AND breaking the law?

The final effort this week comes from Wizard Mannequin, who built this city on rock and roll; an incredibly unstable environment. Such carelessness in the construction of this town could potentially lead to the death of millions.

Much like true, everlasting love in the modern world, this article is now finished. I guess if you're poor you could print out the images from here and give them to someone you like, but even then I think your chances of success are pretty slim due to the fact that you need to use dinosaur pictures from the internet to let someone know you like them. Thanks to all of the romantic forum goons for throwing me a bone by contributing this week. Next Tuesday I'll be back with yet another Comedy Goldmine, whether you like it or not. Make a note on your Nokia N-Gage's diary to join me next week!

– Craig "Russ" Russell

More Comedy Goldmine

This Week on Something Awful...

  • Get In The God Dang Weight Room, Johnny Manziel!

    Get In The God Dang Weight Room, Johnny Manziel!

    Simply put, if I had Johnny Manziel’s physical gifts, you better believe I would be there in the Weight Room, getting to bed early, doing whatever I had to do to be the best possible athlete I could be. I wouldn't be posting on social media about sucking titties. I wouldn't even look at a titty, buddy. I'd look at a titty and see two big footballs.

  • Helping Your Real Friends Move

    Helping Your Real Friends Move

    A real friend doesn't move until the middle of August, ensuring temperatures in the 90s and a humidity that turns boxers into moist balls of ruined cotton.

Copyright ©2014 Rich "Lowtax" Kyanka & Something Awful LLC.