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Bryant Gumbel

Saturday, December 9, 2006 Update by Corin Tucker's Stalker

Bryant Gumbel, submitted by me. I'm having a hard time finding an Awful Link tonight so this may be a bit of a stretch, but Bryant Gumbel is a butt. He's currently part of the NFL Network's Thursday Night Football and his nasally, whiney voice is almost as irritating as his awkward and wildly inaccurate play-by-play work. He actually makes Cris Collinsworth seem tolerable by comparison.

I know a lot of you out there don't care for football, so you may not appreciate how big of a feat that is. I would rather watch a slow motion video of Joe Theissman's infamous leg fracture in HDTV for three hours than see Cris Collinsworth's smug grin for a fleeting moment. I would rather get a running start and slide my body across the world's largest cheese grater than listen to Cris Collinsworth say "Hello". Making Cris Collinsworth the part of the program that I look forward to does things to my insides that cannot be explained. I don't even know if I'm human any longer, and you, Bryant Gumbel, are the reason for that.

You had to make this harder for me by not having an official site to link to, didn't you?

- Corin Tucker's Stalker