Monkey Phone Call (Thanks, Bam!)
In the amazing 1986 movie Link, an ostensibly domesticated orangutan reveals his budding sociopathic tendencies by microwaving a telephone. Apparently, even the most civilized primates, the kind that wear suits and smoke cigars, can't be trusted with communication devices. That's why Monkeyphonecall exists, to provide surrogate simian conversation for animal enthusiasts frustrated that zoo employees categorically refuse to "put the ape on the line." The concept originated in 2001, when an eBay seller promised to make "super monkey" sounds during a minute-long phone call. (The immortal eBay Card Game referenced this auction.) Building on the momentum of that novel solicitation, Monkeyphonecall charges a flat $10 fee for each order. Sure, people could make their own chimp noises into the phone for free, but the recipient might be able to detect their amateurish impressions. By contrast, Monkeyphonecall employs real professionals, like maybe this guy or that dude from Disturbed.

This Week on Something Awful...
-
Movies That Show Their Age!
Photoshop Phriday
The SA forum goons subject films to the relentless, unstoppable, cruel savagery of time.
-
Stuff You Will Hate II: Unholy Creations
Garbage Day
I send Sgt. D the kind of shit that makes him mad, and he sends back -- whatever, I hate everything.
-
Warhamer 40,000: Rogue Trader (part two)
WTF, D&D!?
Steve and Zack subject themselves to the second half of Warhammer 40,000's Rogue Trader.
-
I Ate A Luna Bar And My Dick Fell Off!
AwfulVision
Pillow fartin', totally reasonable Republicans and CLOWNCORE MOTHERFUCKER *honk honk*

Something Awful has been mocking itself and the internet since 1999, bringing you reviews of the worst movies, video games, and websites to ever exist. If it's something and it's awful, it's probably on Something Awful, where the internet makes you stupid.