Wholesome Wear
As a corollary to the twice-featured Armor of God PJs, I present WholesomeWear, the aquatic division of the Ghastly Christian Apparel monolith. WholesomeWear offers three swimsuit models, all of which combine Spandex skin with a cumbersome polyester exoskeleton. These designs allegedly "draw the eye to the face," but they're more likely to attract full-body attention, as spectators blurt "look at that crazy woman/poor girl wearing a dress in the pool." WholesomeWear claims the outer layer adds modesty (certainly) and style (no), neglecting to mention the cardiovascular benefits inherent in attempting strenuous exercise while swathed in sopping-wet fabric.

This Week on Something Awful...
-
Celebrities, Wild Animals and Appliances!
Photoshop Phriday
The SA forum goons keep finding new homes for famous faces.
-
Dream Theater vs. The Mars Volta
Garbage Day
Two prog bands battle to the death, but EVERYONE SURVIVED. RAHHRGH!
-
Preciously Awkward
The Awful Movie Database
You have been missing out on the hottest indie romantic comedy of 2008.
-
The Butterfly Effect 3: REVELATIONS
Reviews [Movies]
"Hey reviewing bad movies will be WAY better than reviewing bad video games!"
-
Gotdamn baby dem cakes sho is clappin!
AwfulVision
Obligatory Michael Jackson joke, Cunt Smasher and the worst video in the history of the internet.

Something Awful has been mocking itself and the internet since 1999, bringing you reviews of the worst movies, video games, and websites to ever exist. If it's something and it's awful, it's probably on Something Awful, where the internet makes you stupid.