Daily SWAT: "DOG LOBSTER"

Zack: "The catch of the day today is lobster - dog lobster!" That's amazing.

Dr. Thorpe: Goddamn, now I really want to be a dog costume copywriter, that must be the best job in the world.

Dr. Thorpe: Just write anything, fucking anything, absolutely nothing you could write will be stupid enough to raise any eyebrows. "Throw your dog in a pot and cook it with butter, this dog is a lobster! Dog lobster in a costume!"

Zack: "Come into the lob-ratory! The dog lobster laboratory!"

Dr. Thorpe: "Better watch out-- this dog will pinch you. Are you dreaming? No, it's just a dog in a lobster costume, and you're going to get pinched!"

Zack: "Your next murder mystery party can have a red herring AND a red lobster. A red dog lobster. Red dog lobster. Dlobster."

Dr. Thorpe: "Crack your dog open and eat the white fluffy meat inside-- lobsters are expensive, but your dog could be the cream of the crop!"

Zack: You are selling products to an audience that literally could not be stupider and still be using the Internet to place orders.

Dr. Thorpe: Yeah, since only the worst people in the world will ever read it, there's really no sense hiring Jorge Luis Borges to write your dog costume text.

Zack: Jorge Luis Borges, wasn't he the bassist for Modus Ponens?

Dr. Thorpe: "Does he long for the bone or the embrace of dust? Tomorrow your doglobster shall be a corpse."