In celebration of Halloween, SA's resident fashion goblins Dr. Thorpe and Zack will be dribbling out a spooky Halloween-themed morsel of Fashion SWAT every day until October 30th. On the spookiest of days you will find a special Halloween treat!
This little star won't fumble the ball!
He'll kickoff any party this Halloween. The Football Star pet costume includes: A black and white top with the team emblem on the back. A matching soft football helmet is also included to complete your little quarterback's game day style! Guaranteed to bow-WOW your fellow canines this Halloween!
- Available in Pet Sizes: Small (length 10", chest 16"), Medium (length 12", chest 19"), and Large (length 14", chest 20").
- Includes: Top and helmet.
- 100% Polyester.
- This is an officially licensed ©2007 Playboy costume. PLAYBOY" & RABBIT HEAD DESIGN are trademarks of Playboy.
Dr. Thorpe: I'm dressing my dog up as a baffling mixed metaphor.
Zack: You can dress your other dog up as the IHOP astronaut.
Dr. Thorpe: Next year I'm gonna dress him up as an Aerosmith laundromat.
Zack: I still have my Microsoft lobster costume in the closet somewhere.
Dr. Thorpe: Even the dog is giving you a look like "this shit doesn't even make sense, may as well dress me as a Newsweek bassist."
Zack: We're probably just displaying our ignorance of Playboy products. There is probably a series of Playboy football-themed videos. You know, gauzy lenses, soft-jazz music, girls shaped like living anime figurines, and 45 minutes of a thin premise made slightly tolerable because of toplessness.
Dr. Thorpe: And I'm shocked, SHOCKED to see Playboy lend their iconic bunny logo to a piece of merchandise that is, to say the least, non-canon.
Zack: Once they released that Playboy video game where Hef was having sex and feeding himself and changing his own clothes you knew the empire had decided to ignore canon.
Zack: If they had followed canon he would have been in a hospice being fed applesauce by a Dominican male nurse who doesn't speak English and Hef's Tolkein wives would be out giving blowjobs to A-rod and Pauly Shore.
Dr. Thorpe: Tolkein wives? Are they milves?
Zack: That sounds right. I think they're all finally over 20.
Yes, it's the perfect form for surviving a car crash. But it's also the perfect form for so much more, like surviving the trauma of reading any news headline in 2016.
It's just a little confusing, is all.
The Daily Dirt serves as a column for all Something Awful frontpage writers to write about, well, whatever they feel like putting into the Daily Dirt!