Trip Report: 4 lbs. of Chunky Peanut Butter
00:00 - I have just ingested 4 lbs. of chunky peanut butter. Over the next few hours I will document it's effects on my body and mind.
+00:01 - I feel like I need to poop.
+00:06 - I am starting to feel a mild euphoria. I'm getting a little dizzy. Watching some Charmed at the moment. Piper is such a bitch I hate her.
+00:18 - Burp. Now it's starting to really kick in. I find it hard to walk now. My gut feels like it's going to explode.
+00:32 - Woah. The walls are totally melting. I can taste not only peanuts, but the peanut's souls. I can see myself as if I were a peanut. There I am on the peanut tree. Oh no, I am being picked by a migrant farm worker. Oh mother tree save me. Noooooo!
+00:33 - Do peanuts grow on trees? I don't know.
+00:44 - I wish I had a beard like Wolf Blitzer.
+00:56 - This shit ain't stopping. I might have overdosed. Call 911.
+01:14 - I have left my body completely. I can see myself laying there with a spoon full of peanut butter and I am naked. My penis is so small. But I am so turned on. I want to masturbate while watching my own lifeless body. Oh peanuts what have you done to me?
+01:39 - I have discovered the meaning of life.
+01:42 - I have forgotten the meaning of life.
+02:34 - What if instead of hemoglobin it was hemogoblin haha shit
+02:51 - Phase 2 of peanut butter high is kicking in. I am a general in Mr. Peanut's army. Take me away Mr. Peanut. Make me one with God. Fight the evil opressors of the chosen race.
+03:21 - I am reading the update I wrote for valentine's day and it is really stupid!
+03:32 - Check out Mandy Patinkin in an all new Criminal Minds tonight on CBS. CBS IS GAY AND STUPID AND GAY THOUGH.
+03:49 - ONE DAY YOU WILL DIE AND SEE THAT I AM RIGHT.
+04:01 - fish don't wear pants. Pantsfish is a lie.
+04:22 - IF REBATES ARE SO FUCKING UNRELIABLE WHY DO PEOPLE KEEP BUYING SHIT BECAUSE OF A REABTE FUCK YOUUUUUU
+04:55 - Vons Brand peanut butter is laced with COCAINE
+05:02 - djalsdjsalkdjslakdjaslkdas
+05:05 - I might be coming down now. No wait it might be a trick. Mr. Peanut is dishonest. Don't trust him.
+05:57 - Phew, I really am coming down now. I still feel a little nutty though. Hahaha I WROTE THIS WHOLE THING SO I CAN MAKE THAT ONE JOKE.
+06:01 - I have returned to baseline. What a trip. I just might have to do this again sometime.
+06:44 - I just took a dump. My poop had the consistancy of Play-Doh. The end.
Today's update
I think those Dear Richard emails were funny. I haven't read any really insane ones in a while. I think those days are over. I deliberately did not mention any permabanned forum members by name because they are all fags.
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