After an overwhelmingly positive response from the first Dreamytime Slumberland article I decided to do another one. I wanted this one to be a very loose parody of surreal and creepy children's books like "The Phantom Tollbooth" or "James and the Giant Peach." When I finished writing it I realized that it was much too long for a single update and poor Shmorky would have probably chopped his hands off when he realized how many pictures he would have to draw. You will have to wait a whole week to see part two, but I'm sure you can deal with it because you are grown ups, yes you is.
I'm really too tired to write a big Media Dirt expansion pack for today's update, so instead I'll let this wonderful animation assembled by creepy FYAD poster The Infinite Cockeater do the talking. Let it lull you to sleep.
Ahhhh. So very soothing.
The treacherous New England Patriots are guilty of deflating their footballs. We must punish them severely in the name of holy retribution. This transgression has been the biggest headline in the United States for an entire week, and it should be the primary concern of all nations.
We have used extensive market research to determine the average consumers of America's favorite rolls of caramel-oozing choco cysts.
The Daily Dirt serves as a column for all Something Awful frontpage writers to write about, well, whatever they feel like putting into the Daily Dirt!