I don't know what to say here...

...other than that the next time Reid "Frolixo" Paskiewicz mocks me in his daily dirt he can expect some big trouble. As evidenced by this very update I've had a bad week, what with the gay dogs and all, and the last thing I need is some redheaded e-bully making fun of me on the Internet!

On a side note, I'm moving and need cash. I'm selling a lot of ultra-rare MTG cards to cover expenses and have some money to live on over the summer. I also have a couple XBox 360s my uncle got dirt cheap -- they come with hard drives and all that crap and I'm selling them for $325 apiece (they also come with two wireless controllers and a sealed copy of Perfect Dark Zero). For more info, email me here if you're interested. Serious offers only please!

Movie Reviews

With "Existo" out of the way I'm looking forward to some good old-fashioned horror. I'll either be looking at "American Vampire" or "Quiltface" first, depending on how Netflix treats me. After that it's some horrible movie about white gangstas Lowtax is forcing me to do (slavedriver that he is). I'm always up for suggestions so keep them coming!

Awful Links

We're having problems with our ALOD thingy, so if any of you have a site you'd like me to make fun of, send me your ideas. I try to respond to all emails but I'm assuming I'll get a lot of ALOD submissions, so don't sit by the computer for days waiting on a response from an Internet celebrity. I know you want something to print out and paste on your wall but you can always revert back to those zany Photoshop pictures you made of your friend's head on Pamela Anderson's body.

Thanks to everyone who takes the time to write in! I hope finals have treated everyone well, and I will see you all in two weeks!

– Evan "Pantsfish" Wade

More Daily Dirt

This Week on Something Awful...

  • Meditations from a Movable Weiner

    Meditations from a Movable Weiner

    Sometimes I dream that I'm sitting in the back of the defunct Weinermobile as it careens driverless down the highway. At first I thought this was symbolic of the powerlessness I feel in life, but then I realized it's actually the Weinermobile's dream of being able to drive again.

  • BarkWire.com Dog Reviews: The Barquis de Sade & Cleaver

    BarkWire.com Dog Reviews: The Barquis de Sade & Cleaver

    Three years ago, when we were burying my uncle, Cleaver and some gross lady dog (Solstice???) showed up at the cemetery and starting going at it really loudly. It ruined everything and we had to have a "re-do" the next day and it cost a fortune. I've hated him ever since for that.

Copyright ©2014 Rich "Lowtax" Kyanka & Something Awful LLC.