I can't believe a year has passed already. When I first started writing for Something Awful, I thought I'd immediately run out of ideas, which seems so weird now because I'm usually wrong on predictions but I was spot on with that one.
Thank you for reading my articles, thank you for all the nice emails that made me want to continue, and thank you for all the mean ones that made me want to get better (and die.)
Here's my first update. It's about me having butt worms. It is one of my favorites. Too bad the formatting is terrible.
This is the crown jewel of my erotic lamp collection, and a must-have for any serious pleasure lamp collector.
The treacherous New England Patriots are guilty of deflating their footballs. We must punish them severely in the name of holy retribution. This transgression has been the biggest headline in the United States for an entire week, and it should be the primary concern of all nations.
This ain't your daddy's globe...! .... or is it?!
The Daily Dirt serves as a column for all Something Awful frontpage writers to write about, well, whatever they feel like putting into the Daily Dirt!