I can't believe a year has passed already. When I first started writing for Something Awful, I thought I'd immediately run out of ideas, which seems so weird now because I'm usually wrong on predictions but I was spot on with that one.
Thank you for reading my articles, thank you for all the nice emails that made me want to continue, and thank you for all the mean ones that made me want to get better (and die.)
Here's my first update. It's about me having butt worms. It is one of my favorites. Too bad the formatting is terrible.
Can't tell a drinking fountain from a urinal? We've got you covered. Brush up on your drinking fountain enthusiast -- or sipper -- vocabulary and learn to talk and swap sips with the best of them.
2 PM: Steven J. accidentally drops his vintage Trapper Keeper, revealing erotic drawings of the ‘bunny girls’ emoji. The room draws silent. Slowly, member after member opens his/her notebooks and tablets, revealing dozens of pages of bunny girl emoji fanart. The room votes 12-0 never to speak of this again.
The Daily Dirt serves as a column for all Something Awful frontpage writers to write about, well, whatever they feel like putting into the Daily Dirt!