I can't believe a year has passed already. When I first started writing for Something Awful, I thought I'd immediately run out of ideas, which seems so weird now because I'm usually wrong on predictions but I was spot on with that one.
Thank you for reading my articles, thank you for all the nice emails that made me want to continue, and thank you for all the mean ones that made me want to get better (and die.)
Here's my first update. It's about me having butt worms. It is one of my favorites. Too bad the formatting is terrible.
‘Toad coin?’ wondered the traveler as he examined the pebble. It did not look all that different from any other pebble, and certainly nothing like a coin. ‘What manner of coin has no head or tail, and bears no seal or flag? Who backs this toad coin, the toad bank? The toad treasury!?’ The traveler laughed, but the toads croaked sternly back at him.
Spending $10-15 a day on perishable organic dog food is not a sign of a decadent culture in terminal decline, it's actually real good and worth it.
No lifeguard on duty. Maze run at your own risk.
The Daily Dirt serves as a column for all Something Awful frontpage writers to write about, well, whatever they feel like putting into the Daily Dirt!