I don't know if you've been by your local newsstand lately, but it's a grim sight. I had falsely assumed living in my Ivy Tower that the Internet had wiped out the printed word altogether, but apparently there are still many magazines out there, and 95% of them are terrible. In an effort to breathe some new life into exciting realm of periodicals, The Something Awful Forum Goons crafted a rich and frothy collection of new magazines. Because they made so many, I decided to split them up over two weeks. Here's a generous portion for you to partake of now, and the rest will come next week.

TheSniperZERO got things started with this unpleasant visual.

Perry has such much excitement to offer he can't even fit the words onto the cover of the magazine.

pipes! has but one way of communication: angry typing.

Elbonio is everything that's wrong with the world.

More Photoshop Phriday

This Week on Something Awful...

  • Meditations from a Movable Weiner

    Meditations from a Movable Weiner

    Sometimes I dream that I'm sitting in the back of the defunct Weinermobile as it careens driverless down the highway. At first I thought this was symbolic of the powerlessness I feel in life, but then I realized it's actually the Weinermobile's dream of being able to drive again.

  • BarkWire.com Dog Reviews: The Barquis de Sade & Cleaver

    BarkWire.com Dog Reviews: The Barquis de Sade & Cleaver

    Three years ago, when we were burying my uncle, Cleaver and some gross lady dog (Solstice???) showed up at the cemetery and starting going at it really loudly. It ruined everything and we had to have a "re-do" the next day and it cost a fortune. I've hated him ever since for that.

Copyright ©2014 Rich "Lowtax" Kyanka & Something Awful LLC.