Zack: "Yes, now you can do all my homework while I go out on dates with hot girls. School will be a breeze!"
Steve: You're sitting there minding your own business one day and POOF a genie double appears, only he's really fat and on one of those scooters. Now that would be a mindfreak.
Steve: It's when something is too strange to be believed, and like, you can see it right there, but it's incredible, how could it be happening? I don't know. My mind is freaked. How did Criss Angel cut a woman in half and her lower half just ran away?
Zack: I get it. It's like mindfuck, which is annoying enough, but even worse, because it involved Criss Angel.
Steve: It's wearing a leather hat and eyeshadow. Can you feel your mind's condition flipping from normal over to freaked? Does it hurt to have your reality destroyed by Criss Angel crossing this pool? By this identical twin appearing and asking to sleep in your castle for the weekend, just until he can find a place?
Zack: Criss Angel is why god invented concealed carry laws.
Sometimes I dream that I'm sitting in the back of the defunct Weinermobile as it careens driverless down the highway. At first I thought this was symbolic of the powerlessness I feel in life, but then I realized it's actually the Weinermobile's dream of being able to drive again.
Three years ago, when we were burying my uncle, Cleaver and some gross lady dog (Solstice???) showed up at the cemetery and starting going at it really loudly. It ruined everything and we had to have a "re-do" the next day and it cost a fortune. I've hated him ever since for that.
Ignore the hype. Find out how these games will likely go right or wrong.
Zack Parsons, Steve "Malak" Sumner, and friends tackle bizarre role playing game products that make them wonder, "What the fuck!?" From the early days of Gygax to contemporary role playing games, none will be spared.