Zack: 1995 I.R. The Ballsaxions discover Glansions on Glansia.
Steve: "Oh, dude, you shouldn't have made fun of the beard on her lower ball sack. Now she's pissed and taking out her scroll."
Zack: *Carefully places one bullet in pouch on thigh.*
Zack: Props to Breaux for just saying "Fuck it" and letting his weird, Cronenbergian sexual hang-ups air out on this image.
Steve: Don't be fooled by that rack. You get to second base with this thing and it's just gonna be more ball sack and more eyeballs.
Steve: Even the legs and forearms have ball sacks. It's ball sacks all the way down.
Sometimes I dream that I'm sitting in the back of the defunct Weinermobile as it careens driverless down the highway. At first I thought this was symbolic of the powerlessness I feel in life, but then I realized it's actually the Weinermobile's dream of being able to drive again.
Three years ago, when we were burying my uncle, Cleaver and some gross lady dog (Solstice???) showed up at the cemetery and starting going at it really loudly. It ruined everything and we had to have a "re-do" the next day and it cost a fortune. I've hated him ever since for that.
Ignore the hype. Find out how these games will likely go right or wrong.
Zack Parsons, Steve "Malak" Sumner, and friends tackle bizarre role playing game products that make them wonder, "What the fuck!?" From the early days of Gygax to contemporary role playing games, none will be spared.