Zack: You enter the Skeleton's Office. A terrifying space skeleton is seated behind a space desk. There are also space cabinets above him and a space refrigerator next to him.
Steve: Is he busy?
Zack: He seems very busy.
Steve: I sit down and wait for him to be available.
Zack: A day passes.
Steve: I ask him if he's still busy.
Zack: He doesn't reply.
Steve: What is he doing now?
Zack: Sitting motionless in the exact same position as when you entered.
Steve: This guy is a joke. I'm not going to put up with any more of this business. I walk around and I want to see what's on his TV there.
Zack: He is watching skeleton pornography.
Steve: What's happening?
Zack: A skeleton is laying on the ground. There is a basket full of bones on a shelf. Two other skeletons are standing up.Steve: I don't want my donkey to see this and get any ideas. I need to get out of here!
Zack: There's a bathroom across the hall, but you're going to need the Space Skeleton Bathroom Key.
Steve: How do I get that?
Zack: The skeleton gives it to you and reminds you to return it when you're done.
Steve: I take the key, but I don't intend to return it.
Transgressive author Chuck Palahniuk is here to help with tips and tricks to hacking your life.
Not what I had in mind when I ordered an Italian gondolier. This is literally just a tiny toy. Needless to say, the Italian businessmen were not impressed and I looked like a damn fool. We lost the pizza pie account and will have to lay off half our factory.
Time to applaud the man who applauds in a loop until the end of time.
Zack Parsons, Steve "Malak" Sumner, and friends tackle bizarre role playing game products that make them wonder, "What the fuck!?" From the early days of Gygax to contemporary role playing games, none will be spared.