Zack: Jenlar Temlin approaches you and looks at the talisman. "It is good to see you again. I see you were successful. What is the secret of The Rock?"

Steve: Something about judgment's seat or a chest or something. Only the penitent man will pass?

Zack: What do you tell him?

Steve: "Well met sir Temlin, it is also fortuitous to arrive again upon this heath. I do indeed return victorious and I brought this treasure to give to you."

Zack: He takes the talisman, but he still wants to know what the secret of The Rock is.

Steve: "Sometimes to get the magical treasure you must take one for the team. For upwards of three sultry hours."

Zack: "You have learned the wisdom of the bro, but you have not yet discovered the truth of The Rock. You must try again."

Steve: "Everything is bullshit!" Dean Snakehands shouts and smashes the place up really bad on his way out. "The world is so much crap from a huge turd butt."

Zack: Steve, you have failed in the adventure.

Steve: That last fight was just too difficult. How could anyone possibly defeat all that text?

Zack: The thought of reading all that out loud makes my throat sore.

Steve: Dean Snakehands is retiring to whatever island you sent your dwarf necromancer guy to live on. He is one unhappy adventurer. Outwitted by conspiracies of horses and gnomes, tricked into doing it with some horrible old lady, and bested by a novella of magical voices.

Steve: I am noting this in my oath book.

– Zack Parsons and Steve "Malak" Sumner (@sexyfacts4u)

More WTF, D&D!?

This Week on Something Awful...

  • Meditations from a Movable Weiner

    Meditations from a Movable Weiner

    Sometimes I dream that I'm sitting in the back of the defunct Weinermobile as it careens driverless down the highway. At first I thought this was symbolic of the powerlessness I feel in life, but then I realized it's actually the Weinermobile's dream of being able to drive again.

  • BarkWire.com Dog Reviews: The Barquis de Sade & Cleaver

    BarkWire.com Dog Reviews: The Barquis de Sade & Cleaver

    Three years ago, when we were burying my uncle, Cleaver and some gross lady dog (Solstice???) showed up at the cemetery and starting going at it really loudly. It ruined everything and we had to have a "re-do" the next day and it cost a fortune. I've hated him ever since for that.

Copyright ©2014 Rich "Lowtax" Kyanka & Something Awful LLC.