Steve: There are dozens of employees and none of them stands out particularly. Make a computer use roll.
Zack: 52 and her skill is 60.
Steve: After about fifteen minutes of searching you come across something slightly unusual. It seems that one of the employees at Jaleco has the same name as one of the members posting on The Gamer's Castle. A guy named Timothy Shadow.
Zack: I will just calmly accept that his name is Timothy Shadow without further comment. Is there a way to contact him?
Steve: You could message him in one of the games, but you notice something else. He is offering free "computer building advice" in a small advertisement on the BBS. Basically he will come to your house and help you set up a computer.
Zack: Maybe this is how he was meeting his victims. I don't think he will come to a Holiday Inn, but we could go to him at Jaleco.
Steve: It's too late in the day to go to the Jaleco tower.
Zack: I guess we'd better get some shuteye then. Is Eazy-E back yet?
Steve: Yeah, and he stopped and got a pizza and pops.
Zack: RC cola? What the hell, E?
Steve: He says that was all they had at the pizza place. It's also a weird pizza with unidentifiable but delicious meat on it from General Tcho's Pizza. It's Leng style.
Zack: East Chicago is worse than Miskatonic.
I'm haunted by a recurring vision of a skeleton flipping me off. To avoid seeing this terrifying image in bumper sticker form, I pay someone with a blank bumper to drive in front of me at all times.
Cons: causes bad nightmares. I used to have to eat beef until I passed out to have these kind of terrors, but this machine does it for me every time I fall asleep inside it.
Zack Parsons, Steve "Malak" Sumner, and friends tackle bizarre role playing game products that make them wonder, "What the fuck!?" From the early days of Gygax to contemporary role playing games, none will be spared.