Zack: That's good enough when you combine it with his experience of repeatedly going to hospitals. The symptoms the waiter is exhibiting seem to be from long term radiation exposure.

Steve: What else is around this Chi-Chis?

Zack: The business that caught your eye when you pulled in was a Morton Downey Jr. campaign office in the adjacent strip mall. Considering he has been surging in the polls and threatening Bill Clinton and George Bush, it seemed odd that the office looked abandoned.

Steve: We need to get into that office. Eazy-E will take a rain check on those enchiladas and head back out to the car.

Zack: You are actually in Kurt's conversion van. One side has an airbrushed diagram of a woman's reproductive system and the other side has an airbrushed image of flowers dripping with blood spelling out the word ENEMY. The back is full of the various ritual components used to restore Krist Novoselic from death.

Steve: That's not really helping here. Left Eye needs to like use a little bit of the plastic explosives to blow a hole into the door.

Zack: You're going to have Left Eye blow her way into the campaign office?

Steve: Just a tiny bit.

Zack: She is a demolitions expert, she knows just the right amount to use.

More WTF, D&D!?

This Week on Something Awful...

  • The Fracking Fables of Groggery Gibbonman

    The Fracking Fables of Groggery Gibbonman

    ‘Toad coin?’ wondered the traveler as he examined the pebble. It did not look all that different from any other pebble, and certainly nothing like a coin. ‘What manner of coin has no head or tail, and bears no seal or flag? Who backs this toad coin, the toad bank? The toad treasury!?’ The traveler laughed, but the toads croaked sternly back at him.

  • Your Dog is Totally Worth Refrigerated Food

    Your Dog is Totally Worth Refrigerated Food

    Spending $10-15 a day on perishable organic dog food is not a sign of a decadent culture in terminal decline, it's actually real good and worth it.

Copyright ©2014 Rich "Lowtax" Kyanka & Something Awful LLC.