Zack: Alright, I know you didn't read it again, but seriously I want to hear you defend a 300-word argument for picking metric measurements when playing the game.
Steve: I'm not defending that. I prefer to use nothing but TV measurement analogies. Football fields, VW Bugs, Empire State Buildings, school buses and grains of rice.
Zack: The extraterrestrials section mentioned above is where we learn that the xenoborgs are coming to earth to steal our resources and loot our cities of works of art and durable goods. Aliens traveled through alternate dimensions and the immensity of space to commit a home invasion on our planet.
Steve: They're giant bugs. What do they know about art?
Zack: They know what they like.
After years of being misunderstood, I had hoped we finally had "our" story. I was wrong.
He had a yellow inflatable tube around his waist, the kind with a comical duck head. There was a tiny fish in one of his hands, and a trident in the other. In the background a squirrel wearing shades was water skiing.
For fans of meaningless awards, these awards are extra meaningless.
Zack Parsons, Steve "Malak" Sumner, and friends tackle bizarre role playing game products that make them wonder, "What the fuck!?" From the early days of Gygax to contemporary role playing games, none will be spared.