Zack: Or carry one flashlight.
Steve: An x-ray flashlight?
Zack: Okay, maybe that one is sort of cool, but it's not worth getting rid of your balls over. Not even if you get the most phallic laser rifle I've ever seen.
Steve: Techno sunglasses dude. You can like watch the big game and look through a babe's shirt and calculate where to shoot a laser blast to collapse a bridge onto a bug legion.
Zack: Sure and after 20 years, after the bugs win and enslave all of mankind, the surviving cyborg commandos find out the techno glasses caused brain tumors.
Steve: Their chest is an x-ray machine.
He had a yellow inflatable tube around his waist, the kind with a comical duck head. There was a tiny fish in one of his hands, and a trident in the other. In the background a squirrel wearing shades was water skiing.
Republicans announce that all legislation must be voted on at 2am in a secret chamber, with no one but the lobbyists who write the bills seeing a single line of text. Democrats' Response: Stumbling around a field stepping on rakes, handles smashing them directly in their faces every single time.
For fans of meaningless awards, these awards are extra meaningless.
Zack Parsons, Steve "Malak" Sumner, and friends tackle bizarre role playing game products that make them wonder, "What the fuck!?" From the early days of Gygax to contemporary role playing games, none will be spared.