Steve: Here they are. The two most shameful tables ever included in an RPG.
Zack: Necessary for when you're gaming and you reach the inevitable question, "How many fingers fit in a baby's anus?"
Steve: Roll for baby's anus.
Zack: Yes, 100! And she's a nympho, so that means...25. This baby can handle three fingers no problem.
Steve: Thank goodness it was a slut baby.
Zack: I don't even want to joke about this anymore.
Steve: I want to die.
This is very real. As an insider I possess damning evidence that could utterly destroy Something Awful. This website has many enemies who appear to be coming to power in the United States. They probably have lots of money at their disposal, and I could really use some.
Don't let the winter dryness destroy your sinuses.
Zack Parsons, Steve "Malak" Sumner, and friends tackle bizarre role playing game products that make them wonder, "What the fuck!?" From the early days of Gygax to contemporary role playing games, none will be spared.