Steve: Here they are. The two most shameful tables ever included in an RPG.
Zack: Necessary for when you're gaming and you reach the inevitable question, "How many fingers fit in a baby's anus?"
Steve: Roll for baby's anus.
Zack: Yes, 100! And she's a nympho, so that means...25. This baby can handle three fingers no problem.
Steve: Thank goodness it was a slut baby.
Zack: I don't even want to joke about this anymore.
Steve: I want to die.
Not what I had in mind when I ordered an Italian gondolier. This is literally just a tiny toy. Needless to say, the Italian businessmen were not impressed and I looked like a damn fool. We lost the pizza pie account and will have to lay off half our factory.
Did you know that you only use 10% of your brain? You may have heard that before. But what if you could use 100%? YOU CAN!
Time to applaud the man who applauds in a loop until the end of time.
Zack Parsons, Steve "Malak" Sumner, and friends tackle bizarre role playing game products that make them wonder, "What the fuck!?" From the early days of Gygax to contemporary role playing games, none will be spared.