Steve: Here they are. The two most shameful tables ever included in an RPG.
Zack: Necessary for when you're gaming and you reach the inevitable question, "How many fingers fit in a baby's anus?"
Steve: Roll for baby's anus.
Zack: Yes, 100! And she's a nympho, so that means...25. This baby can handle three fingers no problem.
Steve: Thank goodness it was a slut baby.
Zack: I don't even want to joke about this anymore.
Steve: I want to die.
Are you concerned that you may be a character trapped in a Tom Waits song? Be smart and learn the warning signs before it's too late. Also, it's too late. It has always been too late.
I'm haunted by a recurring vision of a skeleton flipping me off. To avoid seeing this terrifying image in bumper sticker form, I pay someone with a blank bumper to drive in front of me at all times.
Zack Parsons, Steve "Malak" Sumner, and friends tackle bizarre role playing game products that make them wonder, "What the fuck!?" From the early days of Gygax to contemporary role playing games, none will be spared.