Steve: Here they are. The two most shameful tables ever included in an RPG.
Zack: Necessary for when you're gaming and you reach the inevitable question, "How many fingers fit in a baby's anus?"
Steve: Roll for baby's anus.
Zack: Yes, 100! And she's a nympho, so that means...25. This baby can handle three fingers no problem.
Steve: Thank goodness it was a slut baby.
Zack: I don't even want to joke about this anymore.
Steve: I want to die.
Editor's Note: Due to a freak power outage, this obituary of Barbara Bush was written without the benefit of research. In order to pay our respects to this great woman in a timely fashion, we have decided to post this piece as-is. We hope you forgive any errors on our part.
"God of War is the realization of our collective hopes and dreams, not just as gamers, but as gamer-citizens."
My game is funded. Now I know everything.
Sea of Thieves: Reduced the number of quest types from 3 to 2
Zack Parsons, Steve "Malak" Sumner, and friends tackle bizarre role playing game products that make them wonder, "What the fuck!?" From the early days of Gygax to contemporary role playing games, none will be spared.