Zack: Look at this fucking thing.
Steve: The flumph is the most infamous monster from Fiend Folio. Everyone hates it.
Zack: If you let the condom go too far past the expiration date the eyes start to sprout.
Steve: He looks sort of like a cross between a Fleshlight and a wind chime.
Zack: He's Flying Spaghetti Monster bullshit.
Steve: It says he's lawful good, but honestly, if I saw a swarm of these things you would have to hold me back from kicking them and hitting them with my sword.
Zack: Get me a firehose and I'd blast those stupid fuckers into the corner of the dungeon like somebody threw a bunch of Chinet plates into a river.
Steve: I just want to know what their blood looks like.
This Week on Something Awful...
SkyMall Product Review: Singing Gondolier
Not what I had in mind when I ordered an Italian gondolier. This is literally just a tiny toy. Needless to say, the Italian businessmen were not impressed and I looked like a damn fool. We lost the pizza pie account and will have to lay off half our factory.
The Many Powers of the 100% Brain
Did you know that you only use 10% of your brain? You may have heard that before. But what if you could use 100%? YOU CAN!
Celebrating 25 Years Of Everyone's Favorite Character: Crowd Guy
Time to applaud the man who applauds in a loop until the end of time.
Owls with Human Legs!
Finally, the SA Goons find a worthy spiritual successor to 'Birds with Human Hands'!
VIDEO GAME TV
Audio from television shows about video games, mixed and mashed and then set to animation
About This Column
Zack Parsons, Steve "Malak" Sumner, and friends tackle bizarre role playing game products that make them wonder, "What the fuck!?" From the early days of Gygax to contemporary role playing games, none will be spared.
Previous Articles
- Advanced Dungeons & Dragons: Monster Manual II (part 2)
- Advanced Dungeons & Dragons: Monster Manual II (part 1)
- Rifts: Core Book
- Dungeons & Dragons: Dungeon Module S1 "Tomb of Horrors"
- Dungeons & Dragons: Deities & Demigods (Cthulhu Edition)
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