Zack: Look at this fucking thing.
Steve: The flumph is the most infamous monster from Fiend Folio. Everyone hates it.
Zack: If you let the condom go too far past the expiration date the eyes start to sprout.
Steve: He looks sort of like a cross between a Fleshlight and a wind chime.
Zack: He's Flying Spaghetti Monster bullshit.
Steve: It says he's lawful good, but honestly, if I saw a swarm of these things you would have to hold me back from kicking them and hitting them with my sword.
Zack: Get me a firehose and I'd blast those stupid fuckers into the corner of the dungeon like somebody threw a bunch of Chinet plates into a river.
Steve: I just want to know what their blood looks like.
This Week on Something Awful...
When Serial Killers Strike, Property Values Suffer
One man's struggle to save the housing market from unexpected murders.
Peculiar Panels: The Gritty Reboot
Prepare yourself for quite possibly the most effective use of "BOWL" as a sound effect.
About This Column
Zack Parsons, Steve "Malak" Sumner, and friends tackle bizarre role playing game products that make them wonder, "What the fuck!?" From the early days of Gygax to contemporary role playing games, none will be spared.
Previous Articles
- Advanced Dungeons & Dragons: Monster Manual II (part 2)
- Advanced Dungeons & Dragons: Monster Manual II (part 1)
- Rifts: Core Book
- Dungeons & Dragons: Dungeon Module S1 "Tomb of Horrors"
- Dungeons & Dragons: Deities & Demigods (Cthulhu Edition)
Suggested Articles
What's Hot
Popular Threads
red meat causes cancer serves u right animal killing scum
What sound does a Nazi turkey make?
#JoinTheForce Who Will Jeff Jarrett Sign for Global Force Wrestling?
Are you carrying too much (or not enough) money on you?
Texas Representative Steve Stockman (R) introduces H.R. 4380 (Firearms)
south africa should just give up and start over
post here if you eat at Chik Fil A despite their anti gay beliefs
I'm Writing a Comedy Pilot What Should It Be About???