Zack: Look at this fucking thing.
Steve: The flumph is the most infamous monster from Fiend Folio. Everyone hates it.
Zack: If you let the condom go too far past the expiration date the eyes start to sprout.
Steve: He looks sort of like a cross between a Fleshlight and a wind chime.
Zack: He's Flying Spaghetti Monster bullshit.
Steve: It says he's lawful good, but honestly, if I saw a swarm of these things you would have to hold me back from kicking them and hitting them with my sword.
Zack: Get me a firehose and I'd blast those stupid fuckers into the corner of the dungeon like somebody threw a bunch of Chinet plates into a river.
Steve: I just want to know what their blood looks like.
This Week on Something Awful...
I Cannot Continue to Review Mobile Games for a Network Funded by Vladimir Putin
RT mobile games reviewer Jeff Glukhov quits RT after being forced to give pro-Russian reviews to various iPhone and Android games.
Grandmas at Large
Be on the lookout for these armed and dangerous oldsters.
Recaption New Yorker Cartoons!
These cartoons make a lot more sense now, thanks to these straight-shooting captions from the Goons!
Call of Cthulhu "1990's Handbook" - Saved by the Yith (part 5)
Kurt Cobain and gang finally learn the truth behind Morton Downey's evil scheme.
Awful Things for Sex!
WARNING: These products can cause SEX DEPRESSION. Do NOT think about who is using them, or why.
About This Column
Zack Parsons, Steve "Malak" Sumner, and friends tackle bizarre role playing game products that make them wonder, "What the fuck!?" From the early days of Gygax to contemporary role playing games, none will be spared.
Previous Articles
- Advanced Dungeons & Dragons: Monster Manual II (part 2)
- Advanced Dungeons & Dragons: Monster Manual II (part 1)
- Rifts: Core Book
- Dungeons & Dragons: Dungeon Module S1 "Tomb of Horrors"
- Dungeons & Dragons: Deities & Demigods (Cthulhu Edition)
