Zack: Look at this fucking thing.
Steve: The flumph is the most infamous monster from Fiend Folio. Everyone hates it.
Zack: If you let the condom go too far past the expiration date the eyes start to sprout.
Steve: He looks sort of like a cross between a Fleshlight and a wind chime.
Zack: He's Flying Spaghetti Monster bullshit.
Steve: It says he's lawful good, but honestly, if I saw a swarm of these things you would have to hold me back from kicking them and hitting them with my sword.
Zack: Get me a firehose and I'd blast those stupid fuckers into the corner of the dungeon like somebody threw a bunch of Chinet plates into a river.
Steve: I just want to know what their blood looks like.
I was betrayed by the bernio bros, the cougars, and this guy from back page I hired to keep me from jumping out a window at the DNC.
TOTAL WRECK - crazy-eyed hound is covered in cobwebs, has a vespiary on back, graffiti on side and savage thirst for boat fuel. Frankly, I'm in over my head. He's in room 115 at Motel 6, yours free. 555-2851
Zack Parsons, Steve "Malak" Sumner, and friends tackle bizarre role playing game products that make them wonder, "What the fuck!?" From the early days of Gygax to contemporary role playing games, none will be spared.