Zack: We don't care, fuck it, we know our book sucks dicks. We're not even drawing bodies for shit anymore. Whatever. Fuck you. Fuck TSR. Fuck this stupid world.
Steve: His head is an evil skull so he attacks by burying himself up to his evil skull and then you think it's just an evil skull laying on the ground in a dungeon and you're like, "Huh, free evil skull just laying here, let me just grab that and-"
Steve: "Waaa! Where'd this cartoon body come from? Guys, it wasn't just an evil skull like you said. It's a whole monster."
Zack: It says it moves around by jumping like a spring. I can only assume it makes a really screechy BLAAAAAAA! noise while it's doing it to complete my image of an annoying amusement park ride come to life.
Steve: "Dang, I really wanted that evil skull."
I'm haunted by a recurring vision of a skeleton flipping me off. To avoid seeing this terrifying image in bumper sticker form, I pay someone with a blank bumper to drive in front of me at all times.
Cons: causes bad nightmares. I used to have to eat beef until I passed out to have these kind of terrors, but this machine does it for me every time I fall asleep inside it.
Zack Parsons, Steve "Malak" Sumner, and friends tackle bizarre role playing game products that make them wonder, "What the fuck!?" From the early days of Gygax to contemporary role playing games, none will be spared.