Zack: We don't care, fuck it, we know our book sucks dicks. We're not even drawing bodies for shit anymore. Whatever. Fuck you. Fuck TSR. Fuck this stupid world.
Steve: His head is an evil skull so he attacks by burying himself up to his evil skull and then you think it's just an evil skull laying on the ground in a dungeon and you're like, "Huh, free evil skull just laying here, let me just grab that and-"
Steve: "Waaa! Where'd this cartoon body come from? Guys, it wasn't just an evil skull like you said. It's a whole monster."
Zack: It says it moves around by jumping like a spring. I can only assume it makes a really screechy BLAAAAAAA! noise while it's doing it to complete my image of an annoying amusement park ride come to life.
Steve: "Dang, I really wanted that evil skull."
It's true. Grimace is human. God help us, we did our best for him.
Your lair. Maybe you lure victims to it, maybe you hide in it between killings, or maybe you haunt it 24/7 because you’re tragically confined by a curse. Whatever the situation, for most of us monsters, a living/un-living space is an important part of our identities. In this column, Monstergeddon award winners share their lair tips and techniques!
The famed gonzo otaku journalist writes about the death of gaming culture in 2014.
Try not to break your console while I try not to break my cyber brain.
Zack Parsons, Steve "Malak" Sumner, and friends tackle bizarre role playing game products that make them wonder, "What the fuck!?" From the early days of Gygax to contemporary role playing games, none will be spared.