Zack: There is no excuse for this thing.
Steve: What about 20 of this thing?
Zack: It just irritates me imagining running an encounter with Gorbels The DM has to sit there and write down 20 different beach balls with eye stalks that are going to ceaselessly try to jump on people's backs and bite them. For no apparent reason.
Steve: They're mischievous! And irritable!
Zack: They're also super fast, so they're going to catch you no matter what. And then you will get rewarded with Hitchhiker's Guide to Greyhawk here digging his little talons into your neck.
Steve: The good news is the Gorbel is immune to blunt weapons. The bad news is when you stab it with a sword it explodes and hurts you.
Zack: That's just what we need: exploding problems.
Cons: causes bad nightmares. I used to have to eat beef until I passed out to have these kind of terrors, but this machine does it for me every time I fall asleep inside it.
Sorry about the blurry photo. I was lunging at my phone, yelling at it to take a clear picture. It's the only image of me that exists. I'd take another picture for you, but I'm in the middle of a rigorous trampoline session.
Zack Parsons, Steve "Malak" Sumner, and friends tackle bizarre role playing game products that make them wonder, "What the fuck!?" From the early days of Gygax to contemporary role playing games, none will be spared.