Zack: There is no excuse for this thing.
Steve: What about 20 of this thing?
Zack: It just irritates me imagining running an encounter with Gorbels The DM has to sit there and write down 20 different beach balls with eye stalks that are going to ceaselessly try to jump on people's backs and bite them. For no apparent reason.
Steve: They're mischievous! And irritable!
Zack: They're also super fast, so they're going to catch you no matter what. And then you will get rewarded with Hitchhiker's Guide to Greyhawk here digging his little talons into your neck.
Steve: The good news is the Gorbel is immune to blunt weapons. The bad news is when you stab it with a sword it explodes and hurts you.
Zack: That's just what we need: exploding problems.
Are you concerned that you may be a character trapped in a Tom Waits song? Be smart and learn the warning signs before it's too late. Also, it's too late. It has always been too late.
I'm haunted by a recurring vision of a skeleton flipping me off. To avoid seeing this terrifying image in bumper sticker form, I pay someone with a blank bumper to drive in front of me at all times.
Zack Parsons, Steve "Malak" Sumner, and friends tackle bizarre role playing game products that make them wonder, "What the fuck!?" From the early days of Gygax to contemporary role playing games, none will be spared.