Zack: There is no excuse for this thing.

Steve: What about 20 of this thing?

Zack: It just irritates me imagining running an encounter with Gorbels The DM has to sit there and write down 20 different beach balls with eye stalks that are going to ceaselessly try to jump on people's backs and bite them. For no apparent reason.

Steve: They're mischievous! And irritable!

Zack: They're also super fast, so they're going to catch you no matter what. And then you will get rewarded with Hitchhiker's Guide to Greyhawk here digging his little talons into your neck.

Steve: The good news is the Gorbel is immune to blunt weapons. The bad news is when you stab it with a sword it explodes and hurts you.

Zack: That's just what we need: exploding problems.

More WTF, D&D!?

This Week on Something Awful...

  • Lair Flair!

    Lair Flair!

    Your lair. Maybe you lure victims to it, maybe you hide in it between killings, or maybe you haunt it 24/7 because you’re tragically confined by a curse. Whatever the situation, for most of us monsters, a living/un-living space is an important part of our identities. In this column, Monstergeddon award winners share their lair tips and techniques!

  • SkyMall Product Review: Bark Deterring Ultrasonic Collar

    SkyMall Product Review: Bark Deterring Ultrasonic Collar

    Works great on my child, who hasn't barked at all for as long as she's worn the apparatus. When she turns three, we will remove it for a trial period.

Copyright ©2014 Rich "Lowtax" Kyanka & Something Awful LLC.