Zack: "And then it has three mouths with like a million teeth aaaand it has 15 legs and 20 claws with pincers and a stinger, but it's like a mace, and it's actually not a crab at all, it's a tree, but it's also from another dimension and made by these alien dudes."

Steve: Yeah, all those things sound pretty awesome. And the monster looks awesomely weird.

Zack: No, Steve. NO. You pulled this back with the myxysyxxyt whatever that had tentacles and a circle of arms and ram horns on a fish creature. This thing is, apologies to the mentally handicapped, fucking retarded. It's an evil tree turned into a crab with a mace tail.

Steve: Sounds pretty concise to me, although I would say scorpion instead of crab.

Zack: You could call it whatever you want and it's still going to be fucking retarded.

Steve: Where has the child inside you gone? Your whimsy?

Zack: My whimsy died face down in the muck with the rest of my platoon.

Steve: I'm sorry, I didn't know you fought in World War II.

Zack: Thanks to EA. They keep making the games and I'll keep playing them.


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