Steve: Meat Elf.
Zack: I think I saw this guy as a 3D hologram in the middle of a pyramid of eyes on a Tool album cover.
Steve: Hello gentlefolk, I am Meat Elf.
Steve: Ich bin Meat Elf. Don't mind the puke.
Zack: No lips, sorry about that.
Steve: Haaaauuggghhh. Just meated in from under dark and boy are my meats tired.
Zack: First they whipped my skin off, then they took my alignment. Now I'm taking...revenge.
Steve: Revenge is a dish best served meat.
Zack: "Where are they, Kowalski!? Where are the Kiaransalee brothers!?"
Steve: "It's still me. I'm still the same elf I was on the inside, but now my inside is outside."
Zack: Horfk! *wipes mouth* "There's more where that came from."
Steve: This is pretty much the plot of Machete I think, only that withered Mexican dude had skin.
Zack: That's debatable.
Are you concerned that you may be a character trapped in a Tom Waits song? Be smart and learn the warning signs before it's too late. Also, it's too late. It has always been too late.
I'm haunted by a recurring vision of a skeleton flipping me off. To avoid seeing this terrifying image in bumper sticker form, I pay someone with a blank bumper to drive in front of me at all times.
Zack Parsons, Steve "Malak" Sumner, and friends tackle bizarre role playing game products that make them wonder, "What the fuck!?" From the early days of Gygax to contemporary role playing games, none will be spared.