Steve: Meat Elf.
Zack: I think I saw this guy as a 3D hologram in the middle of a pyramid of eyes on a Tool album cover.
Steve: Hello gentlefolk, I am Meat Elf.
Steve: Ich bin Meat Elf. Don't mind the puke.
Zack: No lips, sorry about that.
Steve: Haaaauuggghhh. Just meated in from under dark and boy are my meats tired.
Zack: First they whipped my skin off, then they took my alignment. Now I'm taking...revenge.
Steve: Revenge is a dish best served meat.
Zack: "Where are they, Kowalski!? Where are the Kiaransalee brothers!?"
Steve: "It's still me. I'm still the same elf I was on the inside, but now my inside is outside."
Zack: Horfk! *wipes mouth* "There's more where that came from."
Steve: This is pretty much the plot of Machete I think, only that withered Mexican dude had skin.
Zack: That's debatable.
Transgressive author Chuck Palahniuk is here to help with tips and tricks to hacking your life.
Not what I had in mind when I ordered an Italian gondolier. This is literally just a tiny toy. Needless to say, the Italian businessmen were not impressed and I looked like a damn fool. We lost the pizza pie account and will have to lay off half our factory.
Time to applaud the man who applauds in a loop until the end of time.
Zack Parsons, Steve "Malak" Sumner, and friends tackle bizarre role playing game products that make them wonder, "What the fuck!?" From the early days of Gygax to contemporary role playing games, none will be spared.