Steve: Meat Elf.
Zack: I think I saw this guy as a 3D hologram in the middle of a pyramid of eyes on a Tool album cover.
Steve: Hello gentlefolk, I am Meat Elf.
Steve: Ich bin Meat Elf. Don't mind the puke.
Zack: No lips, sorry about that.
Steve: Haaaauuggghhh. Just meated in from under dark and boy are my meats tired.
Zack: First they whipped my skin off, then they took my alignment. Now I'm taking...revenge.
Steve: Revenge is a dish best served meat.
Zack: "Where are they, Kowalski!? Where are the Kiaransalee brothers!?"
Steve: "It's still me. I'm still the same elf I was on the inside, but now my inside is outside."
Zack: Horfk! *wipes mouth* "There's more where that came from."
Steve: This is pretty much the plot of Machete I think, only that withered Mexican dude had skin.
Zack: That's debatable.
2 PM: Steven J. accidentally drops his vintage Trapper Keeper, revealing erotic drawings of the ‘bunny girls’ emoji. The room draws silent. Slowly, member after member opens his/her notebooks and tablets, revealing dozens of pages of bunny girl emoji fanart. The room votes 12-0 never to speak of this again.
He was ripped off for True Detective, now Thomas Ligotti is being asked to review Pizza Hut's new Hotdog Pizza Bites.
Zack Parsons, Steve "Malak" Sumner, and friends tackle bizarre role playing game products that make them wonder, "What the fuck!?" From the early days of Gygax to contemporary role playing games, none will be spared.