Zack: The best magic cards are the ones that sound like medicines your grandma used to take for dyspepsia.
Steve: I know what you mean. One dude draws on the power of forbidding swamps to conjure a floating skull that can like take control of the minds of orcs or something and then some dude is like "By the power of these islands, give me a bottle of oil."
Zack: "99 cents at the Jewels. I'll get ya ten for five dollars. You don't even gotta tap no islands."
Steve: But that skull dude is gonna be mighty surprised when an elephant skips over some islands and busts out his glowing evil brain.
Steve: Magic isn't Pokemon dude, it's subtle strategies at work. You got to plan ahead.
Zack: It's like chess for obese teenagers and manchildren paying rent to their mothers.
Steve: I do not have to pay rent and I'm only back for like six months tops.
I was betrayed by the bernio bros, the cougars, and this guy from back page I hired to keep me from jumping out a window at the DNC.
TOTAL WRECK - crazy-eyed hound is covered in cobwebs, has a vespiary on back, graffiti on side and savage thirst for boat fuel. Frankly, I'm in over my head. He's in room 115 at Motel 6, yours free. 555-2851
Zack Parsons, Steve "Malak" Sumner, and friends tackle bizarre role playing game products that make them wonder, "What the fuck!?" From the early days of Gygax to contemporary role playing games, none will be spared.