Zack: The best magic cards are the ones that sound like medicines your grandma used to take for dyspepsia.
Steve: I know what you mean. One dude draws on the power of forbidding swamps to conjure a floating skull that can like take control of the minds of orcs or something and then some dude is like "By the power of these islands, give me a bottle of oil."
Zack: "99 cents at the Jewels. I'll get ya ten for five dollars. You don't even gotta tap no islands."
Steve: But that skull dude is gonna be mighty surprised when an elephant skips over some islands and busts out his glowing evil brain.
Steve: Magic isn't Pokemon dude, it's subtle strategies at work. You got to plan ahead.
Zack: It's like chess for obese teenagers and manchildren paying rent to their mothers.
Steve: I do not have to pay rent and I'm only back for like six months tops.
What if you were a cop and the Skittle was mentally disturbed and wanted to be eaten?
DOPPELGANGER NEEDED - To minimize stress to my dog, I'm looking for somebody who is identical to me to take over ownership. Must also be able to fool my wife. Call to set up interview. 555-8252
I'll never forgive these giant alien insects! I'm trying!
Zack Parsons, Steve "Malak" Sumner, and friends tackle bizarre role playing game products that make them wonder, "What the fuck!?" From the early days of Gygax to contemporary role playing games, none will be spared.