Steve: I didn't realize there was a Hebrew version of Mahjong.
Zack: Alright, Wizards of the Coast, I have a new rule for you: the length of boring rules text on a card must be inversely proportional to the excellence of the artwork. If the rules wouldn't fit in a tweet you'd better not pair the text with something that looks like a domino with a grocery list chiseled into it by elves.
Steve: How long should it be for this one?
Zack: One word. Like "bands" or "mountainwalk" or something. You get something like the original Stasis artwork that's boring and it looks like it was painted by a learning-disabled child then you get one letter.
Zack: No, half a letter. I want to see part of an "S" cut off like a printing error.
Are you concerned that you may be a character trapped in a Tom Waits song? Be smart and learn the warning signs before it's too late. Also, it's too late. It has always been too late.
I'm haunted by a recurring vision of a skeleton flipping me off. To avoid seeing this terrifying image in bumper sticker form, I pay someone with a blank bumper to drive in front of me at all times.
Zack Parsons, Steve "Malak" Sumner, and friends tackle bizarre role playing game products that make them wonder, "What the fuck!?" From the early days of Gygax to contemporary role playing games, none will be spared.