Steve: Your Dungeon Master has to be a mega dick to put this in an adventure. Of course they're all huge dicks, including me when I DM.
Zack: Absolute pretend-power pretend-corrupts pretend-absolutely. Although I can see a place for the Obliviax in the drug trade. Getting your memories eaten and then eating someone else's memories by chewing on some moss has got to get you high.
Steve: Duuuuude you will not believe the Obliviax I ate last night at Bongo's party!
Zack: I don't remember my parent's faces, but now I know how to play the recorder.
Steve: It kept screaming and thrashing around the whole time we were eating it. It was so messed up, but also awesome.
Zack: Turned on the blacklight. Played Dark Side of the Moon. Remembered winning an arm-wrestling contest. Way better than that Obliviax Dave scored last week. It was all stems and childhood sexual trauma.
Steve: Oh yeah dude, I think his dealer cut that stuff with crushed up Alzheimer's drugs and stripper memories.
Maria Mitchell is shown holding a telescope to each eye, using them to ogle passing hunks on the street below. OOOGA! Her tongue rolls out like a firehose, her eyes comically bulging through the ends of the telescopes.
The Internet experience of 2014 has been condensed into a single article for your convenience.
Zack Parsons, Steve "Malak" Sumner, and friends tackle bizarre role playing game products that make them wonder, "What the fuck!?" From the early days of Gygax to contemporary role playing games, none will be spared.