Steve: Your Dungeon Master has to be a mega dick to put this in an adventure. Of course they're all huge dicks, including me when I DM.

Zack: Absolute pretend-power pretend-corrupts pretend-absolutely. Although I can see a place for the Obliviax in the drug trade. Getting your memories eaten and then eating someone else's memories by chewing on some moss has got to get you high.

Steve: Duuuuude you will not believe the Obliviax I ate last night at Bongo's party!

Zack: I don't remember my parent's faces, but now I know how to play the recorder.

Steve: It kept screaming and thrashing around the whole time we were eating it. It was so messed up, but also awesome.

Zack: Turned on the blacklight. Played Dark Side of the Moon. Remembered winning an arm-wrestling contest. Way better than that Obliviax Dave scored last week. It was all stems and childhood sexual trauma.

Steve: Oh yeah dude, I think his dealer cut that stuff with crushed up Alzheimer's drugs and stripper memories.

More WTF, D&D!?

This Week on Something Awful...

  • We Are Ready to Announce That Grimace is Human

    We Are Ready to Announce That Grimace is Human

    It's true. Grimace is human. God help us, we did our best for him.

  • Lair Flair!

    Lair Flair!

    Your lair. Maybe you lure victims to it, maybe you hide in it between killings, or maybe you haunt it 24/7 because you’re tragically confined by a curse. Whatever the situation, for most of us monsters, a living/un-living space is an important part of our identities. In this column, Monstergeddon award winners share their lair tips and techniques!

Copyright ©2014 Rich "Lowtax" Kyanka & Something Awful LLC.