The Irish Deer Award

Even a rogue's gallery as anemic as Monster Manual II must have a standout of uselessness and stupidity. The first Monster Manual had the original Irish Deer and the infamous maze-dwelling Morkoth. Monster Manual II brings us the one, the only...

Zack: In the span of two Monster Manuals we've gone from monsters resembling the ceiling, to monsters resembling furniture, to monsters resembling tree stumps. And then there's the executioner's hood, a monster that looks like an executioner's hood.

Steve: The method it uses to hunt isn't adequately described. If I walked into a room and there was an executioner's hood hanging from the ceiling I would probably freak out.

Zack: I think it flattens out into a disc and hides on the ceiling.

Steve: Oh, i skipped over that somehow. So it's like a frisbee that falls on your head and turns into a hood.

Zack: A living Frisbee that evolved eye-holes.

Steve: It's camouflage so if there's a big pile of executioner's masks it can blend in.

Zack: Wherever this thing lives you can bet it becomes the apex predator because none of the other predators know what to do with it.

Steve: Some eagle flying around looking for food and it's just like, "Whoa, hold up. What the hell?"

Zack: A cheetah could outrun the executioner's mask and catch it, I guess. But why bother? It's just going to piss the cheetah off.

Steve: Yeah, but you know mankind is always the top predator. Dudes would figure out some reason to hunt it, like it tastes really good.

Zack: Maybe the humans can skin it and use the skin to make some sort of mask or cap, possibly something that covers the head and face. It could provide a degree of anonymity to the person wearing it.

Steve: Like a balaclava.

More WTF, D&D!?

This Week on Something Awful...

  • Meditations from a Movable Weiner

    Meditations from a Movable Weiner

    Sometimes I dream that I'm sitting in the back of the defunct Weinermobile as it careens driverless down the highway. At first I thought this was symbolic of the powerlessness I feel in life, but then I realized it's actually the Weinermobile's dream of being able to drive again.

  • BarkWire.com Dog Reviews: The Barquis de Sade & Cleaver

    BarkWire.com Dog Reviews: The Barquis de Sade & Cleaver

    Three years ago, when we were burying my uncle, Cleaver and some gross lady dog (Solstice???) showed up at the cemetery and starting going at it really loudly. It ruined everything and we had to have a "re-do" the next day and it cost a fortune. I've hated him ever since for that.

Copyright ©2014 Rich "Lowtax" Kyanka & Something Awful LLC.