The Irish Deer Award

Even a rogue's gallery as anemic as Monster Manual II must have a standout of uselessness and stupidity. The first Monster Manual had the original Irish Deer and the infamous maze-dwelling Morkoth. Monster Manual II brings us the one, the only...

Zack: In the span of two Monster Manuals we've gone from monsters resembling the ceiling, to monsters resembling furniture, to monsters resembling tree stumps. And then there's the executioner's hood, a monster that looks like an executioner's hood.

Steve: The method it uses to hunt isn't adequately described. If I walked into a room and there was an executioner's hood hanging from the ceiling I would probably freak out.

Zack: I think it flattens out into a disc and hides on the ceiling.

Steve: Oh, i skipped over that somehow. So it's like a frisbee that falls on your head and turns into a hood.

Zack: A living Frisbee that evolved eye-holes.

Steve: It's camouflage so if there's a big pile of executioner's masks it can blend in.

Zack: Wherever this thing lives you can bet it becomes the apex predator because none of the other predators know what to do with it.

Steve: Some eagle flying around looking for food and it's just like, "Whoa, hold up. What the hell?"

Zack: A cheetah could outrun the executioner's mask and catch it, I guess. But why bother? It's just going to piss the cheetah off.

Steve: Yeah, but you know mankind is always the top predator. Dudes would figure out some reason to hunt it, like it tastes really good.

Zack: Maybe the humans can skin it and use the skin to make some sort of mask or cap, possibly something that covers the head and face. It could provide a degree of anonymity to the person wearing it.

Steve: Like a balaclava.

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