Steve: My health teacher showed us this one too. The brain of a smoker.
Zack: Why do I keep hearing a theremin?
Steve: I don't know. I keep hearing this clicking like my hard drive is trying to do something and my cursor will flash to the hour glass, but only for a split second. And it keeps doing it.
Zack: Alright, what you'll need is a large jar and a set of medical tongs.
Steve: I have pasta tongs and a Sam's Club jar of peanut butter, but I have to eat all of the peanut butter first.
Zack: I once again appreciate TSR's inability to rate the intelligence of the creature, yet they can rate its alignment.
Steve: You do that all the time with republicans.
Zack: Most of them are chanting, "We're lawful evil! We're lawful evil!" How is a mushroom brain going to self-identify as evil?
Steve: Maybe it has a little German armband on one of its brain arms.
Zack: It appears on a list of communist sympathizers.
Steve: There is a prophecy predicting its arrival in the East wearing a blue turban.
Zack: It directed a straight to DVD National Lampoon's movie.
Simply put, if I had Johnny Manziel’s physical gifts, you better believe I would be there in the Weight Room, getting to bed early, doing whatever I had to do to be the best possible athlete I could be. I wouldn't be posting on social media about sucking titties. I wouldn't even look at a titty, buddy. I'd look at a titty and see two big footballs.
A real friend doesn't move until the middle of August, ensuring temperatures in the 90s and a humidity that turns boxers into moist balls of ruined cotton.
Expendable? You must be joking.
Zack Parsons, Steve "Malak" Sumner, and friends tackle bizarre role playing game products that make them wonder, "What the fuck!?" From the early days of Gygax to contemporary role playing games, none will be spared.