Steve: My health teacher showed us this one too. The brain of a smoker.
Zack: Why do I keep hearing a theremin?
Steve: I don't know. I keep hearing this clicking like my hard drive is trying to do something and my cursor will flash to the hour glass, but only for a split second. And it keeps doing it.
Zack: Alright, what you'll need is a large jar and a set of medical tongs.
Steve: I have pasta tongs and a Sam's Club jar of peanut butter, but I have to eat all of the peanut butter first.
Zack: I once again appreciate TSR's inability to rate the intelligence of the creature, yet they can rate its alignment.
Steve: You do that all the time with republicans.
Zack: Most of them are chanting, "We're lawful evil! We're lawful evil!" How is a mushroom brain going to self-identify as evil?
Steve: Maybe it has a little German armband on one of its brain arms.
Zack: It appears on a list of communist sympathizers.
Steve: There is a prophecy predicting its arrival in the East wearing a blue turban.
Zack: It directed a straight to DVD National Lampoon's movie.
Evil Cooper and Chechen President Ramzan Kadyrov have both been on a rampage, but who did what?
"Your left eye," the optometrist casually explained while blasting my face with a blue laser at point blank range, "is farsighted and shaped like an eyeball. The other eye is nearsighted and shaped like a football. Not even a good football."
Zack Parsons, Steve "Malak" Sumner, and friends tackle bizarre role playing game products that make them wonder, "What the fuck!?" From the early days of Gygax to contemporary role playing games, none will be spared.