Steve: My health teacher showed us this one too. The brain of a smoker.
Zack: Why do I keep hearing a theremin?
Steve: I don't know. I keep hearing this clicking like my hard drive is trying to do something and my cursor will flash to the hour glass, but only for a split second. And it keeps doing it.
Zack: Alright, what you'll need is a large jar and a set of medical tongs.
Steve: I have pasta tongs and a Sam's Club jar of peanut butter, but I have to eat all of the peanut butter first.
Zack: I once again appreciate TSR's inability to rate the intelligence of the creature, yet they can rate its alignment.
Steve: You do that all the time with republicans.
Zack: Most of them are chanting, "We're lawful evil! We're lawful evil!" How is a mushroom brain going to self-identify as evil?
Steve: Maybe it has a little German armband on one of its brain arms.
Zack: It appears on a list of communist sympathizers.
Steve: There is a prophecy predicting its arrival in the East wearing a blue turban.
Zack: It directed a straight to DVD National Lampoon's movie.
Transgressive author Chuck Palahniuk is here to help with tips and tricks to hacking your life.
Not what I had in mind when I ordered an Italian gondolier. This is literally just a tiny toy. Needless to say, the Italian businessmen were not impressed and I looked like a damn fool. We lost the pizza pie account and will have to lay off half our factory.
Time to applaud the man who applauds in a loop until the end of time.
Zack Parsons, Steve "Malak" Sumner, and friends tackle bizarre role playing game products that make them wonder, "What the fuck!?" From the early days of Gygax to contemporary role playing games, none will be spared.