Zack: This was the most requested monster in the book. A guy named Todd T. emailed us first, writing, "The Tarrasque! It's what the party can fight after they've killed their way through Deities & Demigods."
Steve: It's pretty famous in D&D circles as the one monster that is almost impossible to kill.
Zack: D&D circles, huh? I bet you don't have to wait in any rope lines to get into the clubs.
Steve: Not cool.
Zack: What I don't get about the Tarrasque is if it takes a wish to kill it, why don't you save yourself the trouble of fighting it and just wish it was transported to the center of the sun?
Steve: You could do that I guess, if you were a huge lame jerk.
Zack: What the hell!?
Steve: I'm just being honest, bro. Are you really going to spend months playing adventures and gaining experience and going up levels until you finally have the most powerful spell a wizard can possibly have...and then you're going to just wish away the single toughest monster in the game? Talk about anticlimax.
Zack: Well, it wouldn't kill it I guess, but it would be stuck where it won't hurt anybody.
Steve: Yeah, burning in agony forever in the heart of a sun. Disintegrating and regenerating over and over.
Zack: Yep, just like in that Muse song about space and eternity and anguish.
Steve: Real smart. The world is at peace. Everything is dandy. Until a certain demi-lich learns of the Tarrasque trapped in the sun. He needs a new monster to protect his treasure in his Tomb of Horrors.Zack: Acererak! That scoundrel!
Gentle creature Mark Zuckerberg informs you that he enjoys his dog and wife the normal human amount. That he has a plan. That he will be Gentle Leader.
Afraid of ideas and free speech? Well then you better not read this article, coward.
Candles scented like Destiny planets - increases KDR by 26%!
Zack Parsons, Steve "Malak" Sumner, and friends tackle bizarre role playing game products that make them wonder, "What the fuck!?" From the early days of Gygax to contemporary role playing games, none will be spared.