Steve: Looks like you messed up again, dude. The Peryton is real.
Zack: You know, come to think of it I might have seen a CNN report about an eagle with the head of a deer that casts a human shadow and eats hearts. That sounds right up Rick Sanchez's alley.
Steve: Don't kid around, there are real accounts of this thing attacking people.
Zack: You're right, this is extremely important and serious. Who was attacked by this thing?
Zack: It's always sailors.
Steve: There are accounts in history. I looked it up on Wikipedia and it says a rabbi was attacked.
Zack: He should have fought it off with his golem.
Steve: It says they were responsible for the fall of Rome.
Zack: Et tu, Peryton?
Zack: Does whatever insane version of Wikipedia you're reading mention if Perytons were responsible for our current economic crisis?
Steve: Don't be ridiculous. Perytons don't do investment banking. They're evil lost souls trapped in monster bodies.
Zack: Sounds like an investment banker to me.
Transgressive author Chuck Palahniuk is here to help with tips and tricks to hacking your life.
Not what I had in mind when I ordered an Italian gondolier. This is literally just a tiny toy. Needless to say, the Italian businessmen were not impressed and I looked like a damn fool. We lost the pizza pie account and will have to lay off half our factory.
Time to applaud the man who applauds in a loop until the end of time.
Zack Parsons, Steve "Malak" Sumner, and friends tackle bizarre role playing game products that make them wonder, "What the fuck!?" From the early days of Gygax to contemporary role playing games, none will be spared.