Steve: The brutalest hoops are those that dunk you, skeleton oaf.
Zack: D&D evolution is a refreshing break from the usual mutation and natural selection cycle. In D&D a crab onion ring just has to float next to the right fish and they'll combine and turn intelligent.
Steve: Isn't that pretty much how it goes in the Bible?
Zack: Hannity 8:16 and lo the jalapeno popper did rub up against an octopus and thus man went out into the world and mastered the grass and tamed the ant and taught the horse to count and the parrot to imitate a doorbell.
Steve: Maybe a meat man one day rubbed up against a skeleton warrior and this was how a human was made.
Zack: Then the next day the human rubbed up against an orc and boom: half-orc.
Steve: I'm 1/16th orc. My great-great-grandmother was an orc. Seriously.
Zack: Steve, orcs are non-real, non-census fantasy species.
Steve: Maybe it was Dutch.
Zack: Possibly Dutch.
Did you know that you only use 10% of your brain? You may have heard that before. But what if you could use 100%? YOU CAN!
This is where the excerpt from an article usually goes. Since the content of this update is only intended for cool people, I refuse to place a single word in the path of blundering normal people.
Zack Parsons, Steve "Malak" Sumner, and friends tackle bizarre role playing game products that make them wonder, "What the fuck!?" From the early days of Gygax to contemporary role playing games, none will be spared.