Steve: The brutalest hoops are those that dunk you, skeleton oaf.
Zack: D&D evolution is a refreshing break from the usual mutation and natural selection cycle. In D&D a crab onion ring just has to float next to the right fish and they'll combine and turn intelligent.
Steve: Isn't that pretty much how it goes in the Bible?
Zack: Hannity 8:16 and lo the jalapeno popper did rub up against an octopus and thus man went out into the world and mastered the grass and tamed the ant and taught the horse to count and the parrot to imitate a doorbell.
Steve: Maybe a meat man one day rubbed up against a skeleton warrior and this was how a human was made.
Zack: Then the next day the human rubbed up against an orc and boom: half-orc.
Steve: I'm 1/16th orc. My great-great-grandmother was an orc. Seriously.
Zack: Steve, orcs are non-real, non-census fantasy species.
Steve: Maybe it was Dutch.
Zack: Possibly Dutch.
You Will Read This Headline. Then You'll Laugh. Then You'll Realize You Were Wrong All Along.
'We’re going to be in trouble!' Little Sister wailed, clutching her favorite book to her chest and sobbing. 'This isn’t fun like a story anymore!' But Big Sister was not listening, she was thinking. She grabbed Little Sister’s book from her and ran into town, yelling 'Help! A book made me and my sister hurt someone!'
Zack Parsons, Steve "Malak" Sumner, and friends tackle bizarre role playing game products that make them wonder, "What the fuck!?" From the early days of Gygax to contemporary role playing games, none will be spared.