Zack: "Friendzoned again."
Lowtax:: This one's a keeper. I mean, check out his non-jacked up teeth.
Lowtax:: Also his hands are just in semi-prance mode.
Lowtax:: He's clearly got everything going for him.
Zack: "Girls don't want nice skeletons who bring them flowers. They want vampire skeletons who ride motorcycles and carry around fat pistols."
Zack: This is obviously a skeleton that has been dumped.
Lowtax:: "I have developed a failsafe secret method to get any woman to date you, a skeleton with a rose and hood."
Zack: "Where would you be if I walked out that door right this minute and collapsed onto a pile of books?"
Lowtax:: "Envision me turning on a single light bulb. Picture it in your mind. Me pulling the chain down with my 57-jointed finger."
Zack: "What if you could never see me prance again? What if I only pranced with other skeletons? Does that make you jealous?"
Lowtax:: "I would offer you precious jewelry, but..." *motions to other hand, in box, with ring* "I did this for you."
Lowtax:: "I would force you to sit on my lap but I don't know where it is."
Zack: Like most PUA idiots, this skeleton does look like he could be part of a Vegas magic act.
Lowtax:: "Enough of these cloak and dagger games." *takes off cloak and stabs girl with dagger*
Lowtax:: "Looks like game over for you!" *finger turns off light*
Zack: And when he tells his friends about it, he'll say she was a 9 even though clearly she was a 5.
Lowtax:: He's clearly working 9 to 5s.
Zack: *guitar riff*
Lowtax:: *hand falls off*
Zack: *case slams shut*
Lowtax:: *book grows skull*
TOTAL WRECK - crazy-eyed hound is covered in cobwebs, has a vespiary on back, graffiti on side and savage thirst for boat fuel. Frankly, I'm in over my head. He's in room 115 at Motel 6, yours free. 555-2851
Yes, it's the perfect form for surviving a car crash. But it's also the perfect form for so much more, like surviving the trauma of reading any news headline in 2016.
Zack Parsons, Steve "Malak" Sumner, and friends tackle bizarre role playing game products that make them wonder, "What the fuck!?" From the early days of Gygax to contemporary role playing games, none will be spared.