Zack: The headline screams: NASA MAKES UNEXPECTED DISCOVERY IN OUR SOLAR SYSTEM.
Lowtax:: ASTRONAUT FAILS TO PLANT AMERICAN FLAG ON MOON WHEN HE DISCOVERS IT'S ACTUALLY A GIANT FUCKING SKELETON HEAD.
Zack: We don't orbit the sun, as originally believed, but instead we orbit a skeleton ten times the size of the earth that is orbiting the sun.
Lowtax:: "Wait what is this thing? I didn't order this. What is it? It's a planet, isn't it? Well I don't want it and I'm not going to pay for it and you can't make me."
Zack: He banks earth off the door and straight into the trashcan.
Zack: Where it belongs!
Lowtax:: Obama's Space Skeleton!
Lowtax:: Palin warned us all and now the chickens have come home to roost. In space. On top of a giant skeleton torso.
Zack: I knew Obamacare was going to be bad, but this is ridiculous.
Lowtax:: What are you inferring here?
Zack: He should have gone with a universal option.
Zack: Meaning an even bigger skeleton.
Lowtax:: Your option is: HUMONGOUS SKELETON INHABITING THE UNIVERSE or BUY MORE GUNS.
Zack: The worst part is now that NASA has discovered a gigantic skeleton, they are going to spend 50 years and dozens of space missions searching for water on the skeleton again and again.
Lowtax:: Nah, they'll just give up and China will do it.
Lowtax:: NASA won't even try to find out if his other hand is in prime prance position.
Zack: China isn't going to do bullshit general science. They're going to land all over the solar system and start building dormitories for basketball teams.
Zack: And then they'll beat the skeletons.
Lowtax:: THERE'S MORE?!!?!?
Zack: Enough for a pickup game.
Lowtax:: Devout Mormons believe when you die, you get to become your own great space skeleton.
Lowtax:: Which is why I don't trust Chinese Mormons.
Zack: Joseph Smith discovered the space skeleton texts written on his eyelids and tongue when he looked in the mirror.
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