Zack: The headline screams: NASA MAKES UNEXPECTED DISCOVERY IN OUR SOLAR SYSTEM.
Lowtax:: ASTRONAUT FAILS TO PLANT AMERICAN FLAG ON MOON WHEN HE DISCOVERS IT'S ACTUALLY A GIANT FUCKING SKELETON HEAD.
Zack: We don't orbit the sun, as originally believed, but instead we orbit a skeleton ten times the size of the earth that is orbiting the sun.
Lowtax:: "Wait what is this thing? I didn't order this. What is it? It's a planet, isn't it? Well I don't want it and I'm not going to pay for it and you can't make me."
Zack: He banks earth off the door and straight into the trashcan.
Zack: Where it belongs!
Lowtax:: Obama's Space Skeleton!
Lowtax:: Palin warned us all and now the chickens have come home to roost. In space. On top of a giant skeleton torso.
Zack: I knew Obamacare was going to be bad, but this is ridiculous.
Lowtax:: What are you inferring here?
Zack: He should have gone with a universal option.
Zack: Meaning an even bigger skeleton.
Lowtax:: Your option is: HUMONGOUS SKELETON INHABITING THE UNIVERSE or BUY MORE GUNS.
Zack: The worst part is now that NASA has discovered a gigantic skeleton, they are going to spend 50 years and dozens of space missions searching for water on the skeleton again and again.
Lowtax:: Nah, they'll just give up and China will do it.
Lowtax:: NASA won't even try to find out if his other hand is in prime prance position.
Zack: China isn't going to do bullshit general science. They're going to land all over the solar system and start building dormitories for basketball teams.
Zack: And then they'll beat the skeletons.
Lowtax:: THERE'S MORE?!!?!?
Zack: Enough for a pickup game.
Lowtax:: Devout Mormons believe when you die, you get to become your own great space skeleton.
Lowtax:: Which is why I don't trust Chinese Mormons.
Zack: Joseph Smith discovered the space skeleton texts written on his eyelids and tongue when he looked in the mirror.
Angry and hopeless Trump voters take heart: there is a man who is out for justice for America.
People can't stop talking about this Donald Trump character. He's said a lot of crude and hateful things over the years, and demonstrated a tremendous lack of judgment, discipline and decency. If you ask me, he's not fit to be our president. In fact, he's not even fit to be mayor of Buffoontown.
Nightmares Fear Factory is BACK, baby!
Zack Parsons, Steve "Malak" Sumner, and friends tackle bizarre role playing game products that make them wonder, "What the fuck!?" From the early days of Gygax to contemporary role playing games, none will be spared.