Steve: Rounding the corner you are assaulted by the strong smell of evil. You spy a man holding a staff and a small blade. He shakes with surprise and turns to you, a cruel sneer on his face.
Zack: I can sneer just as cruel. I charge forward with my sneer face ready and I attempt to chop him with my sword.
Steve: It is definitely Bhir-Vedi. He has Amrastisi tied down to a sacrificial altar.
Zack: "Let her go, Baskin Robins. Your shadow reign of terror is at its end."
Steve: As if on cue, multiple shadow creatures come slithering into existence.
Zack: That's it, I am sword attacking this fool and getting Amrastisi off the altar.
Steve: He blasts you with spells, knocking you back, but he proves unable to stop your warrior heart with his magic. You chop his head in half.Zack: "Gunt triumphs again!' I bellow, wildly fist pumping. "Suck on it, NERDS!"
Can't tell a drinking fountain from a urinal? We've got you covered. Brush up on your drinking fountain enthusiast -- or sipper -- vocabulary and learn to talk and swap sips with the best of them.
2 PM: Steven J. accidentally drops his vintage Trapper Keeper, revealing erotic drawings of the ‘bunny girls’ emoji. The room draws silent. Slowly, member after member opens his/her notebooks and tablets, revealing dozens of pages of bunny girl emoji fanart. The room votes 12-0 never to speak of this again.
Zack Parsons, Steve "Malak" Sumner, and friends tackle bizarre role playing game products that make them wonder, "What the fuck!?" From the early days of Gygax to contemporary role playing games, none will be spared.