Steve: Rounding the corner you are assaulted by the strong smell of evil. You spy a man holding a staff and a small blade. He shakes with surprise and turns to you, a cruel sneer on his face.
Zack: I can sneer just as cruel. I charge forward with my sneer face ready and I attempt to chop him with my sword.
Steve: It is definitely Bhir-Vedi. He has Amrastisi tied down to a sacrificial altar.
Zack: "Let her go, Baskin Robins. Your shadow reign of terror is at its end."
Steve: As if on cue, multiple shadow creatures come slithering into existence.
Zack: That's it, I am sword attacking this fool and getting Amrastisi off the altar.
Steve: He blasts you with spells, knocking you back, but he proves unable to stop your warrior heart with his magic. You chop his head in half.Zack: "Gunt triumphs again!' I bellow, wildly fist pumping. "Suck on it, NERDS!"
Master is troll wizard, so's if he get angry he might cast spell up on my self and bite off my whole head in one chomp.
It's true. Grimace is human. God help us, we did our best for him.
Kirk Cameron destroys the internet with his rage and jacks it to boats, hallelujah!
The famed gonzo otaku journalist writes about the death of gaming culture in 2014.
Zack Parsons, Steve "Malak" Sumner, and friends tackle bizarre role playing game products that make them wonder, "What the fuck!?" From the early days of Gygax to contemporary role playing games, none will be spared.