Steve: Rounding the corner you are assaulted by the strong smell of evil. You spy a man holding a staff and a small blade. He shakes with surprise and turns to you, a cruel sneer on his face.
Zack: I can sneer just as cruel. I charge forward with my sneer face ready and I attempt to chop him with my sword.
Steve: It is definitely Bhir-Vedi. He has Amrastisi tied down to a sacrificial altar.
Zack: "Let her go, Baskin Robins. Your shadow reign of terror is at its end."
Steve: As if on cue, multiple shadow creatures come slithering into existence.
Zack: That's it, I am sword attacking this fool and getting Amrastisi off the altar.
Steve: He blasts you with spells, knocking you back, but he proves unable to stop your warrior heart with his magic. You chop his head in half.Zack: "Gunt triumphs again!' I bellow, wildly fist pumping. "Suck on it, NERDS!"
The first phase of The Olive Garden's cyber rollout will introduce their Neverending Pneumatic Pasta Tube. This works on the same principal as bank drive-thru deposit tubes, but with unfrozen linguini and spaghetti.
Do you remember the crazy clothes and hair of the 1990s? Do you remember Crystal Pepsi and Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles? Do you remember where you hid the box your mother gave you?
It's still okay to like Ben Stiller, guys.
Zack Parsons, Steve "Malak" Sumner, and friends tackle bizarre role playing game products that make them wonder, "What the fuck!?" From the early days of Gygax to contemporary role playing games, none will be spared.