Steve: Rounding the corner you are assaulted by the strong smell of evil. You spy a man holding a staff and a small blade. He shakes with surprise and turns to you, a cruel sneer on his face.

Zack: I can sneer just as cruel. I charge forward with my sneer face ready and I attempt to chop him with my sword.

Steve: It is definitely Bhir-Vedi. He has Amrastisi tied down to a sacrificial altar.

Zack: "Let her go, Baskin Robins. Your shadow reign of terror is at its end."

Steve: As if on cue, multiple shadow creatures come slithering into existence.

Zack: That's it, I am sword attacking this fool and getting Amrastisi off the altar.

Steve: He blasts you with spells, knocking you back, but he proves unable to stop your warrior heart with his magic. You chop his head in half.

Zack: "Gunt triumphs again!' I bellow, wildly fist pumping. "Suck on it, NERDS!"

– Zack Parsons and Steve "Malak" Sumner (@sexyfacts4u)

More WTF, D&D!?

This Week on Something Awful...

  • Advanced Level Sexy Catcalls

    Advanced Level Sexy Catcalls

    Hows about you, me, and five uncomfortable minutes in my basement apartment next to the dusty Christmas tree that's still up from my last visit with my estranged children.

  • Zagat's Guide to Poor Person Eating

    Zagat's Guide to Poor Person Eating

    The Upper Kitchen Cabinet Where Your Roommate Keeps His Food: You’ll 'need the footstool' to reach your roommate’s 'fine selection' of 'stale cereal,' but he'll never notice if 'only a little is missing from each box.' Feel less guilty by reminding yourself that Jeff 'acts weird around your girlfriend,' and always 'asks about her.' What a 'creep.'

Copyright ©2015 Rich "Lowtax" Kyanka & Something Awful LLC.