Steve: Rounding the corner you are assaulted by the strong smell of evil. You spy a man holding a staff and a small blade. He shakes with surprise and turns to you, a cruel sneer on his face.
Zack: I can sneer just as cruel. I charge forward with my sneer face ready and I attempt to chop him with my sword.
Steve: It is definitely Bhir-Vedi. He has Amrastisi tied down to a sacrificial altar.
Zack: "Let her go, Baskin Robins. Your shadow reign of terror is at its end."
Steve: As if on cue, multiple shadow creatures come slithering into existence.
Zack: That's it, I am sword attacking this fool and getting Amrastisi off the altar.
Steve: He blasts you with spells, knocking you back, but he proves unable to stop your warrior heart with his magic. You chop his head in half.Zack: "Gunt triumphs again!' I bellow, wildly fist pumping. "Suck on it, NERDS!"
Are you concerned that you may be a character trapped in a Tom Waits song? Be smart and learn the warning signs before it's too late. Also, it's too late. It has always been too late.
I'm haunted by a recurring vision of a skeleton flipping me off. To avoid seeing this terrifying image in bumper sticker form, I pay someone with a blank bumper to drive in front of me at all times.
Zack Parsons, Steve "Malak" Sumner, and friends tackle bizarre role playing game products that make them wonder, "What the fuck!?" From the early days of Gygax to contemporary role playing games, none will be spared.