Steve: This one isn't so bad.
Zack: You think that anytime something is black because black is "badass."
Steve: It is the most badass of the colors.
Zack: Badass color or not, he's got a nipple cannon in the middle of his chest and that flap on his crotch says NINJABOT.
Zack: I bet this guy clatters and stomps loudly down hallways and drones *I AM NINJABOT* at 80 decibels.
Steve: He doesn't look particularly stealthy, but I'm sure he makes up for what he lacks in stealth with, uh, vibrating knives or...uh...shoulder batteries.
Zack: As soon as his shoulder is done recharging he is going to rock your world with his mega nipple.
Obviously, the first thing necessary to getting back in shape is buying a bunch of expensive knick-knacks.
Finally, a look at the candidate's long-delayed tax returns.
Zack Parsons, Steve "Malak" Sumner, and friends tackle bizarre role playing game products that make them wonder, "What the fuck!?" From the early days of Gygax to contemporary role playing games, none will be spared.