Steve: It's impossible for this guy to put on a poncho.
Zack: Great design! It combines all the uselessness of multiple up-angled cannons with the futility of several rocket pods in bizarre locations.
Steve: Who doesn't want missile launchers on their knees and hips?
Zack: I think it's supposed to have a face or something, but it just looks like a couple of castanets caught mid-click.
Steve: If you need a robot to quickly take off a bracelet or ruin a pair of hotpants then this is your guy.
Zack: I suddenly have a compelling need to start the reactor and free mars.Steve: C3P0 has been hanging out in the wrong hex of the Battletech map.
Zack: Buzz saws, a tiny head-cannon, and little T-rex arms holding a carbine are really not making the list of armaments I want to stick on a huge badass robot.
Steve: Badass or not, I bet this thing knows how to please a lady with all those attachments and extra arms.
Zack: Yes, because if ladies love one thing, it's definitely vestigial limbs dangling from your chest.
Is the world ready for Staind By Me, St@nd By e-Me, and Crank 3: Stand By Me?
Finally: an advice column for the rest of us! (Who seek to enslave humanity.)
A Goon outs himself as a wizard and gets a warm reception from the rogues/rangers/paladins gallery!
Zack Parsons, Steve "Malak" Sumner, and friends tackle bizarre role playing game products that make them wonder, "What the fuck!?" From the early days of Gygax to contemporary role playing games, none will be spared.