The Gun Show, Part 2
Zack: It's baby's first FPS mod gun. I can almost see it untextured and rotating in a video posted on a forgotten website. CyberSquad Tactics, a modification for Unreal 3.
Steve: I think this gun is identical to one in Battlefield 2142, but that game was pretty bad so maybe not.
Zack: Trust me, Battlefield 2142 was one samurai dragon ninja away from being Rifts. I've played spreadsheets more fun than it.
Steve: Keith had a spreadsheet for making Traveller characters on his old laptop, but like Traveller it was more like work than a game.
Zack: Rifts dares to take the ridiculous underwater speargun fight to the next level!
Steve: I'm not a science expert or anything, but wouldn't a laser gun be a horrible weapon underwater?
Zack: It might be okay as long as you aren't kicking up mud or anything by, say, walking along the bottom or thrashing around fighting a robot shark with your vibrating knife.
Steve: What's the point of the shoulder stock? There are no sights or anything so you can't really aim.
Zack: To help with the laser recoil from all the light violently shooting out. And your vibrating spear.
Steve: I can almost picture that C3P0 robot's tiny little baby robot arms holding one of these.
Zack: Sensual battle droid is going to aim his vibrating spear at your M.O.M.
Are you concerned that you may be a character trapped in a Tom Waits song? Be smart and learn the warning signs before it's too late. Also, it's too late. It has always been too late.
I'm haunted by a recurring vision of a skeleton flipping me off. To avoid seeing this terrifying image in bumper sticker form, I pay someone with a blank bumper to drive in front of me at all times.
Zack Parsons, Steve "Malak" Sumner, and friends tackle bizarre role playing game products that make them wonder, "What the fuck!?" From the early days of Gygax to contemporary role playing games, none will be spared.