The Gun Show, Part 2
Zack: It's baby's first FPS mod gun. I can almost see it untextured and rotating in a video posted on a forgotten website. CyberSquad Tactics, a modification for Unreal 3.
Steve: I think this gun is identical to one in Battlefield 2142, but that game was pretty bad so maybe not.
Zack: Trust me, Battlefield 2142 was one samurai dragon ninja away from being Rifts. I've played spreadsheets more fun than it.
Steve: Keith had a spreadsheet for making Traveller characters on his old laptop, but like Traveller it was more like work than a game.
Zack: Rifts dares to take the ridiculous underwater speargun fight to the next level!
Steve: I'm not a science expert or anything, but wouldn't a laser gun be a horrible weapon underwater?
Zack: It might be okay as long as you aren't kicking up mud or anything by, say, walking along the bottom or thrashing around fighting a robot shark with your vibrating knife.
Steve: What's the point of the shoulder stock? There are no sights or anything so you can't really aim.
Zack: To help with the laser recoil from all the light violently shooting out. And your vibrating spear.
Steve: I can almost picture that C3P0 robot's tiny little baby robot arms holding one of these.
Zack: Sensual battle droid is going to aim his vibrating spear at your M.O.M.
Simply put, if I had Johnny Manziel’s physical gifts, you better believe I would be there in the Weight Room, getting to bed early, doing whatever I had to do to be the best possible athlete I could be. I wouldn't be posting on social media about sucking titties. I wouldn't even look at a titty, buddy. I'd look at a titty and see two big footballs.
A real friend doesn't move until the middle of August, ensuring temperatures in the 90s and a humidity that turns boxers into moist balls of ruined cotton.
Expendable? You must be joking.
Zack Parsons, Steve "Malak" Sumner, and friends tackle bizarre role playing game products that make them wonder, "What the fuck!?" From the early days of Gygax to contemporary role playing games, none will be spared.