Zack: The hallway turns several times and passes through a door. It goes from a neatly-squared, finished hallway to a winding tunnel through stone. Using your gypsy infravision you detect someone approaching through the darkness.
Steve: We wait in ambush.
Zack: A lone orc appears. He is carrying a harp.
Steve: We will wait in hiding and allow him to pass.
Zack: As he's walking past, Trebbelos leaps out and stabs the orc in the back with his dagger. The orc cries out in pain and falls to the ground. The other wizards leap out and begin stabbing and kicking the orc. They are laughing and covered in blood.
Zack: One of the wizards picks up the harp and drop-kicks it, breaking all the strings. Another makes the brutally murdered orc call you fat.
Steve: I guess we had better continue down the hall before his friends come.
Zack: The wizards are rolling around in the orc's blood. Their faces and hair are completely red with his blood. They are laughing insanely. "Hey, gypsy, when you sit around the caravan you really sit around the caravan," says the orc's corpse.
Steve: I'm continuing down the hall whether or not these guys are coming with me.
And you thought women had one-dimensional script intros that treated them like sex objects. Ewoks have it even worse.
No one seems to like the new Doom box art. But it's still the same old Doom Guy under that space marine helmet. Right?
Zack Parsons, Steve "Malak" Sumner, and friends tackle bizarre role playing game products that make them wonder, "What the fuck!?" From the early days of Gygax to contemporary role playing games, none will be spared.