Steve: Alright, I am clearing out of this dump and taking the ruby to the baroness woman of Gulluvia for my reward.

Zack: The baroness is a haughty and cruel woman. She offers you 3,000 gold pieces or she will take the ruby from you with her army.

Steve: I guess I'll take the money and use it to finance a reunion tour. Bring back the ghost band, swing through some skeleton cities, play the classics.

Zack: Unfortunately, Yngwulf Maimsteen dies of old age a few days after selling the ruby.

Steve: It is a fittingly tragic ending for this dark hero. May he take his rightful place among the pantheons of metal. Did he at least gain a level?

Zack: Yes, he made it to the big 4.

Steve: That adventure seemed a little short to me.

Zack: Really? It seemed endless to me. I confess, I might have rearranged the map there at the end to save you navigating a maze full of acolytes and pit traps and go right from the ruby room to Charmander's lair.

Steve: That guy...I tell you what, it was all worth it to put a stop to his molesting.

Zack: Steve, he wasn't actually a molester.

Steve: I had the letters to prove it!

Zack: Goodbye folks!

– Zack Parsons and Steve "Malak" Sumner (@sexyfacts4u)

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