Zack:

This bedchamber has an eerie appearance. Dust and cobwebs cover everything so thickly that it is nearly impossible to distinguish exactly what furnishings are here.

Steve: I see someone hasn't gotten any business since the first age. Are there any skeleton ladies around?

Zack: No, but you get covered in dust and cobwebs. As you search the room for a bony bride the image of a bearded elf materializes out of the air. He is floating above the bed and he doesn't have any hands or feet.

Steve: Well met, handless sir. I would invite you to jam with me but I see that would be impossible.

Zack: He smiles cruelly and begins to float towards you. It seems as though he's reaching out to grab you, but he has no hands!

Steve: Wail out on my guitar with the lurid strains of Shrieker, O Shriek.

Zack: The violence of your shredding blasts cobwebs and dust everywhere, but the smiling beard man seems undeterred. He's floating right for you!

Steve: Summon a shield of pyrotechnics to protect me!

Zack: Pyros explode, igniting the dusty bed, but he floats right through the maelstrom and hugs you! Only he never connects. He floats right past you!

Steve: What the heck! Security!

Zack: He repeats this several times and then disappears with a haunting laugh.

Steve: Lame. Is there anything worth talking about in this scorched dump?

Zack: The smoke from the burning bed reveals a secret door to you.

Steve: Alright, I'm busting this crap open. I've had just about enough of this entity's monkeyshines.

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