Zack: A week has passed since your adventure with the colossus and his back problems. There hasn't been a lot of adventure around, but while you are drinking on the Mouse Planet you get a juicy lead. A dwarf miner is a little too far into his cups and he mentions passing over a planet with large deposits of a glowing ore called glod. He even gives you the location of the planet.
Steve: A planet with so much gold you can see it from space? Scotty, prepare the engines for maximum spelljamming.
Zack: It's glod not gold and there aren't engines on your ship. It's sails.
Steve: Don't tell me what I can't do, tell me what I can do!
Zack: You leave Mouse Planet bound for this mysterious planet of glod. After many days of travel you find the planet adrift in space. As promised large, glowing deposits of ore are visible near the north and south polar regions.
Steve: What about the middle regions?
Zack: Volcanoes. It's all volcanoes. Everywhere but the north pole is volcanoes.
Steve: Alright, landing on the north pole.
Transgressive author Chuck Palahniuk is here to help with tips and tricks to hacking your life.
Not what I had in mind when I ordered an Italian gondolier. This is literally just a tiny toy. Needless to say, the Italian businessmen were not impressed and I looked like a damn fool. We lost the pizza pie account and will have to lay off half our factory.
Time to applaud the man who applauds in a loop until the end of time.
Zack Parsons, Steve "Malak" Sumner, and friends tackle bizarre role playing game products that make them wonder, "What the fuck!?" From the early days of Gygax to contemporary role playing games, none will be spared.