Zack: A week has passed since your adventure with the colossus and his back problems. There hasn't been a lot of adventure around, but while you are drinking on the Mouse Planet you get a juicy lead. A dwarf miner is a little too far into his cups and he mentions passing over a planet with large deposits of a glowing ore called glod. He even gives you the location of the planet.
Steve: A planet with so much gold you can see it from space? Scotty, prepare the engines for maximum spelljamming.
Zack: It's glod not gold and there aren't engines on your ship. It's sails.
Steve: Don't tell me what I can't do, tell me what I can do!
Zack: You leave Mouse Planet bound for this mysterious planet of glod. After many days of travel you find the planet adrift in space. As promised large, glowing deposits of ore are visible near the north and south polar regions.
Steve: What about the middle regions?
Zack: Volcanoes. It's all volcanoes. Everywhere but the north pole is volcanoes.
Steve: Alright, landing on the north pole.
Sometimes I dream that I'm sitting in the back of the defunct Weinermobile as it careens driverless down the highway. At first I thought this was symbolic of the powerlessness I feel in life, but then I realized it's actually the Weinermobile's dream of being able to drive again.
Three years ago, when we were burying my uncle, Cleaver and some gross lady dog (Solstice???) showed up at the cemetery and starting going at it really loudly. It ruined everything and we had to have a "re-do" the next day and it cost a fortune. I've hated him ever since for that.
Ignore the hype. Find out how these games will likely go right or wrong.
Zack Parsons, Steve "Malak" Sumner, and friends tackle bizarre role playing game products that make them wonder, "What the fuck!?" From the early days of Gygax to contemporary role playing games, none will be spared.