Zack: Well, Steve, you totally blew it on that last one.
Steve: In RPGs there's no such thing as "blowing it" there are only different outcomes. It's like Donnie Darko. Mad world, I find it kind of funny, dreams I'm dying, etc.
Zack: There was a slave revolt on that neogi ship. They didn't have the ability to communicate with you.
Steve: Their loss, my gain.
Zack: You didn't gain anything!
Steve: Peace of mind! And what was that BS astro sphinx. All he did was creep up on us and ask a question and then attack us. That's not cool.
Zack: If you got his riddle right he exploded in a giant chain-lightning that would have realistically killed everyone.
Steve: Yeah, obviously. I got the riddle wrong on purpose. Babies know that riddle. Mirror. So easy. Of course I knew it.
Zack: Well, perhaps you will get a chance to redeem yourself with further adventures of the Turbo Clam.
Steve: That's good because Captain Widowmaker didn't nail a single babe. Unacceptable!
Maria Mitchell is shown holding a telescope to each eye, using them to ogle passing hunks on the street below. OOOGA! Her tongue rolls out like a firehose, her eyes comically bulging through the ends of the telescopes.
The Internet experience of 2014 has been condensed into a single article for your convenience.
Zack Parsons, Steve "Malak" Sumner, and friends tackle bizarre role playing game products that make them wonder, "What the fuck!?" From the early days of Gygax to contemporary role playing games, none will be spared.