Zack: Well, Steve, you totally blew it on that last one.
Steve: In RPGs there's no such thing as "blowing it" there are only different outcomes. It's like Donnie Darko. Mad world, I find it kind of funny, dreams I'm dying, etc.
Zack: There was a slave revolt on that neogi ship. They didn't have the ability to communicate with you.
Steve: Their loss, my gain.
Zack: You didn't gain anything!
Steve: Peace of mind! And what was that BS astro sphinx. All he did was creep up on us and ask a question and then attack us. That's not cool.
Zack: If you got his riddle right he exploded in a giant chain-lightning that would have realistically killed everyone.
Steve: Yeah, obviously. I got the riddle wrong on purpose. Babies know that riddle. Mirror. So easy. Of course I knew it.
Zack: Well, perhaps you will get a chance to redeem yourself with further adventures of the Turbo Clam.
Steve: That's good because Captain Widowmaker didn't nail a single babe. Unacceptable!
Sometimes I dream that I'm sitting in the back of the defunct Weinermobile as it careens driverless down the highway. At first I thought this was symbolic of the powerlessness I feel in life, but then I realized it's actually the Weinermobile's dream of being able to drive again.
Three years ago, when we were burying my uncle, Cleaver and some gross lady dog (Solstice???) showed up at the cemetery and starting going at it really loudly. It ruined everything and we had to have a "re-do" the next day and it cost a fortune. I've hated him ever since for that.
Ignore the hype. Find out how these games will likely go right or wrong.
Zack Parsons, Steve "Malak" Sumner, and friends tackle bizarre role playing game products that make them wonder, "What the fuck!?" From the early days of Gygax to contemporary role playing games, none will be spared.