Zack: You slide into the duct like a nature documentary about gungan mating habits and crawl past the ewok sludge. It's all over your costume.
Steve: Gorax eat ewoks so it only enhances the realism.
Zack: Where are you going in the duct?
Steve: I will try to reach the room where the party is being held.
Zack: Alright, since you are so adept at climbing I will apply this to vent travel and say you navigate your way through the ducts and find yourself above Yadda's dressing room. You recognize the little yoda creature seated in front of his mirror.
Steve: What is he doing?
Zack: Yadda is bleary-eyed and you see the remnants of some white substance on the dressing room table. Looks like somebody has been tooting some Mandalorian marching powder. He's staring at his reflection in the mirror and saying, "You fucking rock. YOU fucking rock. You are the fucking man." He starts beating himself in the chest to psych himself up for his public.
Steve: Does he have a cool costume?
Zack: Well, he is dressed as Han Solo and the first Death Star was blown up recently, so nobody really knows who that is yet. He's still kind of underground/rebel-insidery. So, yeah, it is extremely cool.
Steve: Does it seem like Yadda might autograph a head shot for Beth if I climbed out of the vent?
Zack: What's your intelligence score?
Zack: Yes. It seems like he would be glad to autograph something for you right now.
Steve: Awesome, I am climbing out of the vent to ask for an autograph for Beth Hutt.
Are you concerned that you may be a character trapped in a Tom Waits song? Be smart and learn the warning signs before it's too late. Also, it's too late. It has always been too late.
I'm haunted by a recurring vision of a skeleton flipping me off. To avoid seeing this terrifying image in bumper sticker form, I pay someone with a blank bumper to drive in front of me at all times.
Zack Parsons, Steve "Malak" Sumner, and friends tackle bizarre role playing game products that make them wonder, "What the fuck!?" From the early days of Gygax to contemporary role playing games, none will be spared.