Zack: Let's dig into this sucker.
Steve: I didn't read it, but I did look at all the pictures very carefully.
Zack: I read enough to feel stupider. One of the bragging points for Synnibarr is how there are so many options for you during character creation. To call them bewildering would be an understatement, so we're only going to concentrate on a few.
Steve: What about classes?
Zack: They're confusing, but that's as good a place as any to start. Synnibarr, being a planetload of hot bullshit, has a confusing array of "classes." These are particularly confusing because they include various "classes" you would consider races in other games (Dwarf, Giant) alongside regular classes like Ninja and Mage Warrior. Then there's a huge list of races later in the book, and these are insane.
Steve: So I can be a cyborg, but not a cyborg archer? Does the bow snap when I try to use it?Zack: You know how a square is a rectangle, but a rectangle isn't a square?
Steve: Not really.
Zack: You can be a Cyborg who uses a bow or an Archer who gets cybernetics, or if you choose you can be a mutated Archer with cybernetics. You just can't be a Mutant Archer Cyborg.
Steve: I don't understand.
Zack: Now you're getting into the spirit of it!
Sometimes I dream that I'm sitting in the back of the defunct Weinermobile as it careens driverless down the highway. At first I thought this was symbolic of the powerlessness I feel in life, but then I realized it's actually the Weinermobile's dream of being able to drive again.
Three years ago, when we were burying my uncle, Cleaver and some gross lady dog (Solstice???) showed up at the cemetery and starting going at it really loudly. It ruined everything and we had to have a "re-do" the next day and it cost a fortune. I've hated him ever since for that.
Ignore the hype. Find out how these games will likely go right or wrong.
Zack Parsons, Steve "Malak" Sumner, and friends tackle bizarre role playing game products that make them wonder, "What the fuck!?" From the early days of Gygax to contemporary role playing games, none will be spared.