Zack: Every Special Abilities entry introduces a dozen powers and weapons and stupid, useless details.
Steve: Maybe I should pick a Scarrok. They get two distilled heal spring melons. That sounds good. Is it good?
Zack: I don't know.
Steve: Can you find out? Look in the index.
Zack: Which one. Raven was bragging about there being five of them.
Steve: Is one of them an index to indexes?
Zack: No, but the good news is the indexes appear to be illustrated. I don't see it in the main index.
Steve: It's not in the provisions index under healing.Zack: "Distilled?" No, maybe "Drugs."
Steve: Drugs goes straight from DMSO to Emotion Enhancer.Zack: Wait, I found it, under "Natural Substances." Page 104. It says, "Heals all wounds and most diseases."
Steve: Can I just have the dmso and emotion enhancer?
Zack: Sure. Combine them and you will instantly feel melancholy.
Steve: Sweet. Okay, now what the hell is a Scarrok?
Zack: Look it up yourself, fucker.
REFORMED HOG - Former member of the swine family, has now agreed to behave like a proper dog. Free to patient home willing to overlook physical defects. 555-2519
What do you do when The Dark Knight himself pulls a boner?
Available in Large, which is actually a Medium stretched out to appear bigger.
If you're in a tight spot, this is going to be really helpful (I'M JOKING. I'M KIDDING AROUND)
Zack Parsons, Steve "Malak" Sumner, and friends tackle bizarre role playing game products that make them wonder, "What the fuck!?" From the early days of Gygax to contemporary role playing games, none will be spared.