Zack: Every Special Abilities entry introduces a dozen powers and weapons and stupid, useless details.
Steve: Maybe I should pick a Scarrok. They get two distilled heal spring melons. That sounds good. Is it good?
Zack: I don't know.
Steve: Can you find out? Look in the index.
Zack: Which one. Raven was bragging about there being five of them.
Steve: Is one of them an index to indexes?
Zack: No, but the good news is the indexes appear to be illustrated. I don't see it in the main index.
Steve: It's not in the provisions index under healing.Zack: "Distilled?" No, maybe "Drugs."
Steve: Drugs goes straight from DMSO to Emotion Enhancer.Zack: Wait, I found it, under "Natural Substances." Page 104. It says, "Heals all wounds and most diseases."
Steve: Can I just have the dmso and emotion enhancer?
Zack: Sure. Combine them and you will instantly feel melancholy.
Steve: Sweet. Okay, now what the hell is a Scarrok?
Zack: Look it up yourself, fucker.
Simply put, if I had Johnny Manziel’s physical gifts, you better believe I would be there in the Weight Room, getting to bed early, doing whatever I had to do to be the best possible athlete I could be. I wouldn't be posting on social media about sucking titties. I wouldn't even look at a titty, buddy. I'd look at a titty and see two big footballs.
A real friend doesn't move until the middle of August, ensuring temperatures in the 90s and a humidity that turns boxers into moist balls of ruined cotton.
Expendable? You must be joking.
Zack Parsons, Steve "Malak" Sumner, and friends tackle bizarre role playing game products that make them wonder, "What the fuck!?" From the early days of Gygax to contemporary role playing games, none will be spared.