Steve: No, not Timothy Bradstreet!
Zack: This is the cover of a totally serious book. I would go so far as to say it's an overly serious book. Like a funeral home's guest book with stats for making monsters out of shadows.
Steve: You know when you press your thumb on the little screen of a calculator and the numbers all fudge up and it leaves an impression of your thumb?
Steve: Oh, alright.
Zack: Are you saying this guy is a calculator?
Steve: I was talking about his head.
Zack: He's a human calculator.Steve: Obviously not he's a vampire. But I bet being immortal they are pretty good at math.
I'm haunted by a recurring vision of a skeleton flipping me off. To avoid seeing this terrifying image in bumper sticker form, I pay someone with a blank bumper to drive in front of me at all times.
Cons: causes bad nightmares. I used to have to eat beef until I passed out to have these kind of terrors, but this machine does it for me every time I fall asleep inside it.
Zack Parsons, Steve "Malak" Sumner, and friends tackle bizarre role playing game products that make them wonder, "What the fuck!?" From the early days of Gygax to contemporary role playing games, none will be spared.